Chat, 7 in the morning her time Her: Good morning! Kumain ka na? 😊

A way of saying she cares, like 'how are you?'

Nagging about your eating habits

Chat, the first week You: Here's a photo from my hike today. Her: Wow, ang ganda po! Salamat po for sharing.

A polite, respectful way of speaking

She is keeping you at arm's length

She thinks you're too old for her

Chat, late evening Her: Maybe I'll just fly over and surprise you. Charot!

She is seriously planning a trip

Chat, the evening after you missed your call You: Is something wrong? Her: Nothing.

A hurt she wants you to notice and soothe

Chat, after you said you'd be busy all weekend Her: [sends a pouting, arms-crossed sticker]

A playful sulk that invites you to coax her

She is genuinely angry with you

Her group chat with work friends, which she showed you Her: Thanks bhie, see you Monday!

Something romantic with a co-worker

Chat, a month in Her: My friend asked if we're MU na 😅

The stage before an official relationship

You are now officially a couple

Chat, the 14th of the month Her: Happy monthsary, love! ❤️

A monthly mini-anniversary many couples mark

She is rushing the relationship

Chat, about her day Her: Super pagod today, ang daming customers. But okay lang, happy naman ako.

Normal everyday Filipino conversation

She is hiding something from you

Video call, Christmas Eve Her: Say Merry Christmas to everyone! Her family: MERRY CHRISTMAS!

A way of including you in the celebration

A test of whether you'll fit in

Video call, Sunday Her: I'll cook while we talk, okay? Just stay on.

A way of being together across the distance

She's bored and not paying attention

Video call, a holiday at her family's house Her: Sorry, my titos are singing! 🎤 Can you hear me?

A normal part of a Filipino celebration

Chaos; she doesn't care about the call

A hint that she'd rather be at the party

Video call with her family You: So I said I'd fly in on the eleventh... Her uncle: [jaw drops, mouth open] Ha?

He didn't understand what you said

Video call, a family gathering Her: This is Tita Weng, Tita Baby, Tito Boy and Ate Joy!

Respect titles, used even for family friends

She is exaggerating how big her family is

They're all her blood relatives

Video call, first time meeting her relatives Her aunt: How old are you? What's your work? Where did you study?

They're working out how to address you

Video call; her brother walks past behind her Her brother: [catches your eye and lifts his eyebrows, says nothing]

A warning to treat his sister well

Video call with her family You: So, do you all think she should move abroad one day? Her family: [everyone laughs]

Laughter easing an awkward moment

They find the idea funny, so the answer is no

Your first date, at a restaurant Waiter: Here's your bill, sir. Her: [doesn't reach for her wallet]

On a first date, many expect the man to pay

Your second date; you said 7pm Her: Sorry, traffic! Malapit na ako. [it's 7:45]

A relaxed approach to time at social plans

A date, walking in a busy mall You: [leans in to kiss her] Her: [pulls back, smiling]

Public affection is uncommon; she's being modest

She's embarrassed to be seen with you

Planning your next date You: Want to come to my friend's party Saturday? Her: Hmm... yes, okay... maybe.

Possibly a polite way to avoid saying no

A restaurant, getting the waiter's attention Her: Psst! Kuya, bill please.

An ordinary way to get attention

Walking past a group eating lunch outside A group of her friends: Kain tayo!

A courtesy, not a literal invitation

A real invitation to sit and eat

Arriving at her family's house Her tita: Uy! Tumaba ka!

A greeting that notes how you've changed

Her family's Christmas reunion Her lola: So, kailan kayo ikakasal? When's the wedding?

A hint that she's been talking about marriage

Her niece greets you at the door Her niece: [takes your hand] Mano po, Tito! [presses the back of your hand to her forehead]

A respect gesture that asks for your blessing

A sign she sees you as her boss

At her family's house Her younger cousin: Kuya, do you want more rice?

They see you as family, not as her partner

Sunday lunch at her parents' house You: No, no, I'm full, thank you! Her mother: [puts more food on your plate] You don't like it?

Hospitality; a flat no can sound like you didn't like it

You hand her parents a gift Her father: Salamat! [sets it aside, unopened]

Gifts usually aren't opened on receipt

You arrive from abroad Her brother: Welcome! Where's the pasalubong? 😄

A small homecoming gift is customary

Meeting her relatives Her: That's my uncle Baby, and my cousins Girlie and Mon Mon!

Childish names you can joke about

Chat, payday Her: Sent half my salary home for my brother's tuition. Tipid muna ako this month!

Helping family is widely seen as her duty

Her family will expect you to pay next

A serious talk, a few months in Her: I can't think about marriage until my siblings finish school.

A real duty to her family first

A hint that you should pay for school

You praise her baby niece You: She's so cute! Her aunt: Pwera usog!

A protective saying after a baby is praised

She is rejecting your compliment

Dating a Filipina: What to Expect and Where to Start