Start dating after divorce with one small step: tell a friend you'd like an introduction, rejoin a regular activity, or say yes to one short coffee. There's no set number of months, and the "month for every year married" rule has little research behind it. Go when you can talk about your ex without heat.
Contents · 9 sections
Dating after divorce as a man comes with questions a general dating guide skips: what the studies on divorce and new relationships actually found, what to say when you’re separated but not divorced, where men in their 40s and 50s meet people, and when the kids hear about any of it. If you’re still in the thick of the breakup itself, start with how to get over a breakup and come back when you’re curious about other people again.
How to start dating after divorce
Start with one small step you can take this week, not a whole new dating life. Tell two friends you’d like to be introduced to someone. Say yes to the next invitation you’d normally skip. Go back to something you used to do on a regular night, a team, a class, a club, because you’ll see the same faces each week and conversation comes easier the third time than the first.
Introductions from friends are underrated after a long marriage, because a friend has already vouched for both of you. Ask plainly: “If you know someone you think I’d get on with, I’m open to it.” Friends who knew you as half of a couple may not ask until you do.
After a long marriage, the people most likely to introduce you to someone are friends who knew you as half of a couple. Most won’t offer until you ask.
Apps are one route, not an obligation. If you use one, a few recent photos and a short profile that sounds like you do more than a long list of what you won’t accept. Say you’re divorced, and if you have kids, say so. If you’re asking which app: HeyCrush, the app behind this site, is being built for meeting someone between the East and the West; it’s waitlist-only until it launches, so it can’t introduce you to anyone yet.
Scammers look for men who are lonely and out of practice, so learn the signs before you start. Be wary of a match who pushes to move off the app within a day or two, asks for money for any reason, or wants to show you an investment or crypto opportunity, and never send money to someone you haven’t met in person. How to tell if someone online is scamming you walks through the warning signs.
Before you post a profile, paste it into the check below. It flags lines about the ex, warning-off lines and an unclear divorce status, the things a stranger reads before she reads anything else about you, and suggests plainer wording.