When it comes to our partners, many of us can take them for granted, especially as time goes by and we find ourselves growing more and more comfortable with them. Guys are notorious for making this type of error, which is why it’s so important to really make an effort and to make our partner feel special at all times, not just in the early stages of a relationship. When couples first get together and are in, what is known as the “honeymoon period”, they can’t keep their hands off one another, they’re overly romantic, and they really make an effort to make one another feel special.
As time passes by however, as couples begin to get more comfortable, at times, they can really drop the ball, which could potentially damage the relationship. As the boyfriend for example, it is your responsibility to make your partner feel safe and secure, and to make them feel attractive and appreciated. A lot of guys think that any problem can be solved if they throw enough money at it, when in reality, being a better boyfriend generally goes above and beyond money.
If your partner is feeling unappreciated, or if you simply wish to step up and be a better boyfriend, here are 12 handy tips for you to try.
Be honest with your partner
In reality, when it comes to any relationship, honesty should be a given, because if you aren’t open and honest with each other, the trust immediately goes right out of the window, and without trust, you basically have no real relationship at all. Honesty is always the best policy, so if you find yourself lying, or even trying to hide the truth from your partner, stop yourself and be open and honest.
Nobody is perfect, and we all make mistakes, and if you own up to these mistakes in advance, you are far more likely to be forgiven, depending on what you have done, that is. If you have managed to drop and break her favourite ornament, don’t try hiding it from her, and don’t deny it if she acts whether you know anything about it. Be honest, apologise, and find out what it will take to make things right.
Relationships should be based on honesty, so if you find yourself lacking in that department, take the time to better yourself and see what you can do to make things right.
Compliment your partner every now and then
We all love being complimented, and rightfully so, and if you want to really make your partner feel happy and confident, make an effort to compliment her at least once a day. Tell her how beautiful she looks, compliment her outfit, compliment the food she has prepared, and anything else you can think of. Whatever she does, find the good in it and compliment her to make her feel special and wanted.
By complimenting your partner, you will help build up her self esteem and self confidence, plus it will help convince her just how much you really care about her.
Help her out with her chores
It’s the small things in life that really matter, and when it comes to being a better boyfriend, this is more apparent than ever. If you really want to show your partner just how much you care about her, and how special she is, take the time to make small gestures on a regular basis.
If for example, you know she’ll be getting in late from work, rather than have her prepare dinner, why don’t you prepare dinner instead, and make sure to do the dishes afterwards? If there is housework that needs doing, instead of leaving it to her, why not tackle it yourself instead?
Even something as seemingly trivial as running her a hot bath ready for when she gets in from work, will really show her how much you care about her, and it will certainly be very much appreciated.
Treat her every so often
You don’t necessarily have to treat her on a weekly basis, but every so often, take the time to treat her to something you know she will enjoy. You could take her out for dinner at her favourite restaurant, or perhaps treat her to a new outfit? If funds are tight, small but thoughtful gifts and surprises will also be very much appreciated. For example, a box of her favourite chocolates, a bouquet of flowers, or a bottle of her favourite wine, will also show her you care.
Although in an ideal world we would lavish our partners will gold and diamonds, unfortunately the majority of us don’t have the bank balances of multi-millionaires, but even so, small and thoughtful gifts will be appreciated just as much.
Be her everyday hero
Always be there to look out for her whenever she needs you. Help her out with the groceries, walk her pet, take a day off from work to support her and be besides her when she is sick. Inspire and motivate her to pursue her dreams and aspirations. Be supportive and fight for her and with her whenever she is having a hard time. Give her confidence that you’ve got her back no matter what life throws at her. Be there to always help her out without being asked to and without making her feel awkward or embarrassed about it.
Prove that you trust her
You should ensure that you trust your partner, and you should also give them a reason to trust you in the process. To help prove this, perhaps try telling them something about yourself that very few people know. In return, you can prove that you trust her by showing real concern when she tells you something that is personal to her, and look for ways of solving problems and any issues she may be having. If she complains about something, don’t just grunt and shrug it off, look for solutions for whatever it is that may be bothering her.
Try to be more in touch with your emotions
Men are notorious for their inabilities to get in touch with their emotions, and for that reason, if you’re looking at being a better boyfriend to your partner, you should really make an effort to be more sensitive and more in touch with your emotions. Women love it when their partners express their feelings and tell them how they really feel on the inside, and so for that reason, try to make an effort to really get in touch with your emotions and talk about how you are feeling.
If something is bothering you, don’t keep it bottled up, instead, sit your partner down, tell them what is bothering you, and tell them how it makes you feel. Although you may feel uncomfortable in the early stages, once you’ve finished, you will feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
Remember dates that are special to you both
Obviously, as a boyfriend, you will celebrate anniversaries of when you both got together and became a couple, but to really gain yourself extra boyfriend points and to help show your partner that you really do care about her, make sure that you remember dates that are special to you as a couple.
As a romantic gesture for example, why not treat your partner to dinner at the restaurant where you went on your first date? If there was a song playing when you both got together, why not play it and remind her why it’s special? These details may seem small, but they prove to her that you’re committed and that you actually pay attention.
Obviously anniversaries and birthdays are a given, but try to go the extra mile and remember dates, locations, and situations that are special to the pair of you.
Prove you are committed to her
It may sound a little cliché, but it’s true, women love men who are committed to them, or who are ready to commit to them, so to help really set her at ease and prove yourself to be a great boyfriend, prove to your partner that you are committed to her.
A lot of guys automatically think marriage when they hear the word ‘commitment’ but in reality, that doesn’t have to be the case at all. Simply trusting your partner with your phone, or giving her a spare key to your home, or your bank card, will help show that you’re committed in the here and now.
Commitment doesn’t have to be about proposing, getting married, moving in together right away, or having children, commitment simply needs to prove that you are committed to your partner, and your partner only.
Never take your partner for granted
As couples spend more and more time together, it can be easy for you to take your partner for granted without even realising you’re doing so, yet this is one of the worst things that you can do.
If you make a mess in the kitchen for example, don’t just leave the pots and pans for your partner to clear up, clean them up yourself. If there are mountains of laundry to get through, again, make an effort to do it for yourself. If your partner cooks a delicious meal for you both, don’t automatically assume that she will do the same for you every weekend, and don’t think that that gives you an excuse to lounge around and leave the cooking for her.
In an ideal world, the pair of you will both find ways of making one another happy, and you will never, ever, take each other for granted. Appreciate the things she does for you, and return the favour by doing similar things for her in return.
Admit when you’re in the wrong and learn to apologize
As mentioned, nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes from time to time, and as the saying goes, it takes a big man to admit he is in the wrong and that he made a mistake. If you’re in a bad mood and have had a tough day and you happen to snap at your partner, you must recognize that what you did was wrong, and you must apologize and let her know that you’re sorry.
As well as saying sorry, if you explain why you snapped, and tell her why you’ve had such a rough day, the fact that you have opened up and have been honest with her, will certainly help make her feel better. All couples argue from time to time, just like all families do, and that does not mean that they don’t love one another, in fact, sometimes a small argument can be good as it can help get things out into the open. After arguing however, you must learn to apologize and say sorry, even if the blame doesn’t entirely fall on you.
Forget about playing silly childish games like waiting for her to say sorry first, simply step up, admit you are perhaps in the wrong, and tell her that you’re sorry. You may get a bit of the silent treatment for a while, but you will soon be forgiven and you will soon be back to being happier than ever.
Listen to her problems and offer solutions
If your partner has had a tough day at work, or if somebody, or someone, is bothering her, let her vent her frustrations to you and listen to what she has to say. When she’s talking, don’t just zone out like they do in comedies on the TV or in movies however, really listen to what she has to say and perhaps offer help and advice on what she could do to help make things easier. You shouldn’t just acknowledge what she is saying, you should remember what she is saying and what she has said in the past. If she is struggling with something, or someone, at work, offer a few suggestions on what she could do to potentially help make life easier.
Providing you listen to her problems and let her vent, once she’s got everything off her chest, chances are that she’ll feel much better anyways. Always be there for her whenever she needs you, and sometimes she will need you just because.
Be sympathetic to her
As the saying goes ‘men are from Mars, and women are from Venus’, which basically means that the two are very different to one another.
Your partner will often find herself emotional, moody, and hormonal, especially during certain times of the month, and so even the seemingly most trivial of things could potentially upset her. To you, it could be trivial and you may think she is overreacting being dramatic, but even so, rather than saying this, you should acknowledge the fact that something has upset her, and that she needs comfort and support from somebody she trusts, which in this instance, is you. Put yourself in her position and try to see things from her perspective. Just because something may not seem like such a big deal to you, does not mean that the same can be said from her point of view.
Be sympathetic, hug her, tell her everything’s going to be ok, and let her know that you will always be there to support her. Remember, she may not want to talk or deal with whatever is bothering her right away, so just lending a shoulder to cry on could actually be enough.
Give her the space she needs
You got to let her be her. Whether she wants to be left alone or wants to have a girls night out, or just hang out with her friends, including her male friends, give her the time and space she needs on her own. Don’t be that clingy boyfriend tracking her every move or calling her constantly. You will come off as immature. It reveals her your insecurity about her and that is a major turn off. Instead, take this time off for yourself, maybe hang out with your own friends, show her you have a life of your own!
Get your act together
All the aspects we have discussed so far have been about her. But there is one thing that is all about you. If you’re not already doing so, you need to start taking control of your life. Women appreciate and like guys who is a go-getter. They like men who have goals and ambitions and a plan to achieve those goals. Make it a habit to give your best shot to whatever you do. Women are naturally drawn to sincere, committed and hard working men.
Invest in yourself to develop professionally, and socially and becoming a great human being. Set high standards for yourself and everything around you. All these qualities will give you woman a sense of security for your future as a couple and help take the relationship to the next level. I cannot stress enough how important this factors could be.
Just ask yourself, how proud would you be if your daughter was dating someone just like you? If your answer is positive, congratulations! But if it isn’t, you’ve got work to do, kid.
To recap, aka the TL;DR version:
- Be honest
- Give compliments often
- Give a lending hand with her chores
- Treat her every now and then
- Be her hero
- Trust her and be trustworthy
- Stay commited to her
- Admit when its been your mistake. Forgive when its hers.
- Listen to her
- Be available for her needs
- Invest and developing yourself
Being a better boyfriend needn’t be complex or complicated, and it shouldn’t require you to try to be something that you aren’t. Take the time to appreciate your partner, let her know you care about her, be open and honest with her, and see things from her perspective, and before you know it, your relationship with one another will be happier and stronger than ever.