Does the idea of dating a Thai girl appeal to you? Well, you’re not alone. For over 30 years, Caucasians and even Asian men outside of Thailand have been looking towards dating and marrying Thai women and with good reason. Whether you’re personally in a relationship or looking forward to one or just curious as to why so many men from around the world are attracted to Thai women, read on…
In this guest blog post, we share with you the personal experience and opinions one of our readers. The ideas expressed here are his own and not necessarily subscribed to by thisDating. The author wishes to remain anonymous.
Finding the love of your life can be a great and a very fulfilling experience. But there are situations in which it can also be quite stressful, especially if the person you’re in a relationship with happens to be from a vastly different cultural background. I’ll be honest, and let you know that I’ve been this situation and have had my own ups and downs, but in the end, I’d say it is all worth it.
I’ll share with you here what drew me to my partner and Thai culture as a whole. You have to remember that each nationality and even each individual is completely unique when it comes to dating or being in a relationship. It’s also quiet easy (and sometimes even quiet fashionable) to stereotype people.
The difference between a successful or a failed relationship is just a matter of finding the right partner for you and sticking through the ups and downs in your relationship. You will both have to make allowances and be respectful and sensitive to each others needs. Your mileage will of course vary and knowing exactly what you and your partner seek from each other, makes all the difference.
So here goes…
A unique culture
Thailand has an incredibly rich culture and that does reflect in the lifestyle of its people. From the humble Wai to the downright obnoxious “Why are you so fat?” questions, to the maniacs (in a good way) on Songkran, Thai culture has multitude of traits and can make you feel a bit strange yet at ease at the same time. Its like meeting an old friend after years and years of being apart.
There’s a distance yet, there is this closeness, and it takes a little time understanding it and getting used to. And it tends to grow on you over time. As much as I despised getting drenched the first time on Songkran, I now make it a point to visit Thailand almost every year just for the festival! To that extent, you could even say it brought the younger me in me again!
It opens up your mind…
If you’ve ever only lived in one country all your life, chances you have trained you mind with fairly rigid notions of whats considered “normal.” A relationship with someone from a culture vastly different from yours, is definitely going to challenge those notions. You’ll constantly be learning new things, re-learning some and maybe even unlearning a few.
After a while you start to experience things in completely new ways — even the most familiar of things, from food to your customs to the places you’ve been to a million times before – all of them start to bear a new meaning as you experience them from the perspective of your partner. The best part is, it’s almost like getting to live your life all over again.
… and broadens your taste buds
Have you ever met a Thai girl who has passed up an invite for a Papaya Salad or Tom Yum Gung? Ever notice the first thing that Thais ask each other when they meet up is “Have you eaten yet?” It’s no secret then that this nation is extremely passionate about its eats.
Some of their dishes are world famous, while others may be overly hot or spicy for your taste, but they’re all worth trying, at least once. From exotic sea food, to a degree of heat that’s felt only several hours later, you’ll experience and appreciate the diverse cuisine you’ll be exposed to.
A simple seasoning of traditional Thai spices turned some of the yuckiest vegetables to yummiest ones for me. Here’s a handy tip from a lesson learnt the hard way: Don’t ever make the mistake of suggesting your national cuisine being at par with theirs. Just don’t! Had to sleep on the couch for a whole week before I was forgiven. 🙁
You learn to live the moment
Let it be known: If you’re dating a Thai, your life is about to get a whole lot more unpredictable again. I come from a background where things need to happen as planned and on schedule. Blame it on the mild case of OCD if you will. As for my partner though, nothing is ever planned, and anything that is planned is also not “really” planned.
Thai’s are known to be impulsive (well, my partner is, at least). Decisions are made and changed at the drop of a hat. Whether it’s a movie or a nice romantic dinner, you can’t really be sure if it’s gonna happen or not. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing – I learned to relax and go with the flow and enjoy the moment.
I started enjoying and appreciating my present more that I ever did. I learnt the fundamental truth that life can be so unpredictable, and that its OK to sometimes1 not have a plan. Note that this is a double edged sword and this way of living isn’t always a good thing, and things can sometimes go out of hand when this tend to become the only way of living, so be really careful how far you take this one!
Quiet often, Thai femininity is mistaken (or even dismissed) as submission or unconditional tolerance. But I would disagree. It’s more like a fine play of grace, confidence, assertiveness, charm and thoughtful tactfulness in absolute harmony.
Anyone who’ve been in a relationship with a Thai women would agree that Thai women can be extremely assertive without ever being confrontational. Its a unique ying and yang quality where femininity and masculinity compliment each other perfectly.
This appeals to a lot of men and are naturally drawn to it. This behavior is in large part because of their cultural values and upbringing. They have the tendency to always value harmony over conflict. Given a choice, they will always prefer to avoid conflict or confrontation.
Strong family values
Thais are way closer to their families than most westerners are and this shows in almost every aspect of their lives. This goes beyond just Thailand and is pretty much true for most Asian cultures, where men and women continue to live with their families well into their adulthood and beyond. Even after getting married, a large percentage of Thais will still live with one of the couple’s parents up to and even after they have children of their own.
For Thais, family comes first. If Thai’s have to choose between doing something for their parents and their job, they’ll happily let go of their jobs. Thai’s take pride in taking care of their elderly parents. Putting elderly parents in a home is completely unheard of and will be looked down upon.
Anyone looking to getting into a relationship with a Thai, should understand that when you marry a Thai, you’re not just marrying an individual, but you’re marrying into the family. Western men might feel embarrassed or uncomfortable about this extreme closeness, but you really should spend time to fully understand this, because when married, you will be naturally expected to embrace this as well.
Thai women have a great attitude
Thai women are extremely easy going and a pleasure to hang out with. They will easy blend in with your friends, and rarely make a fuss about anything. Thai women like to laugh a lot and will joke with you often. You’ll always be at ease when you’re with them.
If you can make a Thai girl laugh, they will love being with you and will like to spend more time with you. Even when things get stressful or upsetting, they will still find a way to laugh about it anyway. Well, there’s a reason its called the land of smiles, duh! They also don’t loose their temper so easily. You would have to mess up real big to get a Thai girl angry – but don’t take that for granted and push your luck because hell hath no fury like a Thai woman scorned!
I really didn’t expect travel would be a side benefit of having a cross cultural relationship, but I’m nevertheless glad it turned out that way. You see, every time we planned a vacation, we both wanted to explore each others countries, but invariably, the other one would decline because we had been to those places in our respective countries on several occasions in the past. We almost always ended up going to a neutral third country or city that neither of us had been to before.
Our fridge now sports fridge magnets from 6 different countries! Even when we did settle on visiting places in each other countries, we had the added benefit of being each others private tour guide, not to mention the bargains we could pull off at the local souvenir shops because one of us could speak the local language!
You will grow a thicker skin
Even as many people will support and approve of your interracial relationship, there will always be a few judgemental naysayers as well. You will quickly learn to not let those who judge or disapprove of your relationship affect you or your partner. You’ll learn not to let the opinion of others knock you off your path.
You’ll stay confident of your relationship and life choices and you will let no words, no matter how scathing and bitter they might be, affect your relationship with your partner and that is extremely important for your relationship’s well-being, because it not only strengthens the bond with your partner it also helps you in difficult situations that may arise in future.
A word of advice…
While I’ve shared a lot of reasons why you should date a Thai, I think it would be unfair to completely leave the dark side out. Very many western men who visit Thailand fall for the wrong girl (and there are plenty of those) – often leading the negative stereotyping and degradation of an entire class. No doubt there are individuals in Thailand (as so in every other part of the world) who are looking for more than just love, but its immature, ignorant and grossly unfair to paint an entire culture with the same brush because of the actions of a few.
Most of the women you’ll meet who are financially stable, are just looking for a caring, faithful and trustworthy partner with other attributes she desires. Please don’t judge people before you’ve had a chance to understand them. Life and people are too complex to be put in boxes. Don’t put people in boxes.
… and that awkward moment
If you do need a reason why you shouldn’t marry a Thai, here’s one. I’m sure a lot of you who have been in a relationship with someone who speaks a different language natively can relate…
The worst part is when she knows exactly what’s going on in your mind but still chooses to tease you with a naughty smile or a wink!
PS: No doubt, Thai women are some of the most beautiful in the world, but I deliberately chose not to touch upon the subject of beauty here. For two reasons, a) Beauty is completely a matter of personal preference and b) There is so much more to a woman than just physical traits. I’ve been lucky enough to have found “the one” for me, and my opinions here might be biased given my limited experience and (sometimes poor) life choices.
- Emphasis added. We will cover this topic in more detail in a future article.
Do you have a story to share? Please let us know in the comments below and we’ll get in touch with you!