Being a good girlfriend is not complicated and figuring out men is not that hard either. The only thing that you have to understand to make sure that you are the best girlfriend ever is that it all lies with how happy your man is. The key to a happy and healthy relationship is love, and love is not with words, but with actions. Here’s how you can be the best girlfriend your man can ever have
Whether it is about what you like and what you don’t or about where you are and who you are with, you need to make sure that your boyfriend knows the truth and not the version of the truth. A relationship is built on trust and truthfulness is a major part of being your best in the relationship. Besides, you don’t want your man to doubt you because you are not honest enough with him. Save all the despair and always stick to the truth. This makes everything so much easier and also guarantees that your man is happy where he is.
Give him his space
Guys often display almost no traces of emotions and feelings, whatever they are. Even if they want to be given some space, they are very slow in expressing it. So why give him the trouble? When he wants to go out with his friends or catch up on a game, understand and give him his space.
There is nothing wrong in being without your boyfriend for a few hours. You can use that time to catch up on girl drama and do some shopping or take a trip to the spa. Being with your boyfriend is amazing, yes. But so is being with friends. And that applies for your man too. You are only losing his company for a few hours. You will be shocked to witness the love and affection that comes later because you are the “understanding girlfriend”.
Initiate things and Ideas
Why should your man be the one who is always initiating plans and ideas? This often makes men think that their girlfriends are not interested in their plan. Save the trouble and save the energy of your man so that he can spend his time with you. Plan on a short getaway or gift him with tickets to his favourite game. Now there is a trick here. He doesn’t necessarily have to go to the game with you. When you tell him that he can go for the game with his friends, it is added bonus for you.
Sometimes, it is okay to be the first one to suggest plans and initiate stuff. In fact, it shows that you are also equally committed to your relationship. Calling the shots outside of bed is also a turn on for men.
Don’t be the nagging girlfriend
What men have always hated about women is the constant and never ending nagging they come with. When you want to ask your man for something, do so without sounding irritating and downright annoying. There are ways to do the nagging in a less annoying way. When you want him to understand something try putting it in the most simplest of words. Start with “I feel…” or “I think you should….” instead of being blunt and straight annoying.
It won’t hurt to be prepared to take ‘no’ for an answer. Understand that your boyfriend also has his own perspectives and disagreeing for something is just as natural as it is for anyone else.
Don’t be dominating
A girlfriend who understands her man’s choices ultimately wins a forever place in his heart. When you suggest something, don’t expect for it to be always a cake walk. Sometimes you might have to really struggle to make your man commit to something. Don’t be the bossy girlfriend that just wants to control her boyfriend. Give him his room for decisions and back off when you know that he is irritated.
A good relationship is one where both of you are free to express your own views and decisions. Don’t make it hard for your man by being bossy and controlling. This makes him feel inferior and that is definitely not a good sign for a relationship to sustain.
A majority of girls are attracted towards clean atmospheres and keep a strict tab at maintaining the same. But men, on the other hand, are different when it comes to mess. A majority of men succumb to creating an unintended mess where they live. So don’t frown the next time he invites you over to his place. Just pretend to be ‘okay’ with it even if you are not.
If you are living with your man, then you can deal with it in a much more civilised way, without creating any possible fights. If you want a clean space and an organized one, just start doing so at your own will. Don’t force it down on your man. A clean place makes it less likely for anyone to mess up and you can count on that to remain in your place. If the messing still continues, just sit down with your partner and talk it down. Remember that even though almost all girls are Monica Gellar, not all men are Chandler Bing.
Don’t be clingy
Those 50 phone calls and 100 messages when your boyfriend is away for a few hours are not cute or attractive. One or two calls to check on him is fine but more than that will send the message that you are desperately craving for his attention.
Another equally annoying way of being clingy is trying to get your boyfriend home as soon as possible by using sex as a weapon. This just shows that you are way more desperate than other girls. While many girls don’t find it weird or suffocating to have their boyfriend around at all times men think otherwise. So next time, think twice before bugging your man to come home soon.
Complaining about his friends
Tut, tut. That is a straight no. Complaining about his friends makes you the girlfriend that cannot deal with sharing her man with other people. While you might find his friends annoying, showing it out is going to get you nowhere near being the best girlfriend.
Your guy is going to think that you are yet another regular girl who can’t bear to see her man with his dudes for a while. Even if you hate the very glimpse of them, pretend like you are very much acquainted with them. Again, don’t go overboard. If it is a long time relationship, that hatred will soon fade because you might probably understand his friends better.
Don’t ever try to isolate him from his friends. Men need some “dude” time to keep the testosterone functioning normally. If you isolate him from his friends, he is eventually going to get stressed out because he has no one to talk to about a lot of things and that is going to put him in a sort of self-loathing which will eventually end your relationship.
Try to understand and know his friends. That way, it also gives you a greater chance in explaining to your boyfriend that you are not very fond of his friends and also gives you a chance to slip from being called the regular possessive girlfriend. On the other hand, it will be a great turn on for your man if he sees you making a genuine effort in liking them. Also, it gives you an advantage if you are actually friends with his friends. This makes your relationship stronger in the long run.
Jealousy and its amount
A little bit of jealousy is often considered cute according to men. But go overboard with it and you are back to the number one, being a clingy and desperate girlfriend. It’s okay to feel jealous about his ex-girlfriends and that is perfectly understandable until you start bickering almost every second about it.
The cute amount of jealousy is when you casually question about any girl that was flirting with your man. If your guy is someone whose best friend is a girl, it might drive you extra crazy but you are just going to have to get over it if you want the relationship to work. Become friends with his friends and that solves a lot of problems. No matter how jealous you are, don’t make it so obvious to him that it scares him. That is definitely a no go in the relationship.
Gone are the days when men were mostly intimidated by women who were independent. Now guys look for an independent woman to fulfil their relationship goals. Many men have admitted to feeling highly attracted to women who were independent. “Something about their confidence and their ability to be on their own” is exactly what gets men attracted to them.
Being dependent on your partner for the smallest of things is fine and healthy in a relationship. The point where you can’t do almost anything without your man’s help is where the dependency is unhealthy.
A woman who can take care of herself is more than just a mere sign of a strong individual. It also means that in a relationship, she will be giving her best shot and the man does not have to struggle to bring out the best in his girlfriend. Being independent has its perks in a relationship too.
Don’t forget who you are
There are several examples of women who disappear from their social circle after having begun a relationship. The only time they can be spotted back in the social circle is after they break up with their partners. The very occurrence of this scenario being high is a lead on where women make mistakes.
Men expect women to be less self-centric but also expect her to basically have a life of her own. This means not giving up your friends or your hang out’s after work. Sure, a relationship brings a few changes in your life, but completely isolating yourself from your friends to spend time with your man is a tad too much. This directly goes hand in hand with being clingy and overly attached.
Think of this in this perspective. If you are constantly there, giving your all to your boyfriend then it means you are basically offering nothing new. He knows all of you and he gets all of you. A bond grows stronger only when two people are away from each other.
If your relationship has any potential of becoming a long-term one, then you must work on making it reach that potential. Hang out with your friends and do your own thing. Learn to be on your own for a while. This way, you will also be more accepting when it comes to your man hanging out with his pals. Ultimately this prevents a lot of problems and towards the end of the day, it gives you something to talk and share about.
This especially true if you and your boyfriend are from different cultural backgrounds where even slight misunderstandings could cause serious damage to your relationships. As regular readers of this blog will know, us Thai girls
(and just about all Asian girls really) have a very strict upbringing and our mannerisms are often very different from those who grew up in the west. For example, when I moved to the United States to attend college, I would be really annoyed by the fact that my then boyfriend would enter my home without taking his shoes off. Back home this would be reasons enough to get banished from the family! Eventually, I came around to it when I realized he wasn’t doing it on purpose to annoy me – it was just the way it was in the country he was brought up in. Later when I told him about it, he started removing his shoes before entering the house purely out of respect even though he knew it didn’t annoy me anymore.
The point I’m trying to make is, its not terribly difficult to make peace with the little differences between two of you.
You don’t have to be right ALL THE TIME
This is another place where women tend to go overboard. Sure women love being right. But what they forget is that men are not really fond of being the one with the mistake or the wrong assumption. This ultimately decreases their confidence in the relationship over a period of time and eventually leads to your man calling it splits with you, because he does not feel so good around you.
When you have an argument, stop trying to prove that you are right. Even if you are, you don’t always need to make your man understand it and hold him to the point where you basically demand him to agree that you are right. Leave a few things to be figured out on his own. If you really want to prove a point, then the best way to do it without hurting your man is to just calmly but strongly express your opinion. If you are right, then your man will see right through the situation and understand that you were right.
There! No proving or arguing to be done.
Talking about a future together
Unless you are madly, passionately and uncontrollably in love, don’t use phrases such as “together”, “forever” etc. Men are more commitment-phobic and using such phrases will send across the message that you both are not sailing on the same boat. This is particularly applicable for budding relationships.
Even if your partner is trying to pull closer to you, showing that you are thinking about a future together may just freak him out and repel him from you. Start small. If you want reassurance in the relationship that it is indeed heading somewhere, first wait till you move in together. Think of ways to commit together to a particular thing. Say, for example, consider raising a pup or kitten together. The more activities you do together, more closer it brings you both.
The best girlfriend is one who understands all this and doesn’t force it down on her man.
Listen and Appreciate
It doesn’t always have to be about you. Listen to your partner too. Ask him about how his day went and talk to him in general. Get to know him more. This shows that you are interested in learning about everything when it comes to your man, making him feel special.
Men also need appreciation on a regular basis. Like how women tend to have elevated levels of confidence after their man appreciates their efforts on beauty, men too like being appreciated for their efforts on not just beauty but a lot of things. Show him that you appreciate what he has done for you.
When he is thoughtful about something, don’t say “That was thoughtful of you”. Instead, try “Thanks for getting me dinner. That was so thoughtful of you”. Remind them about what they did and then thank them. Shows them that you noticed what they did and that you care.
The last but one of the most important things to do to be the best girlfriend ever is creating an aura of positivity around you. Smile more often and be more positive. This positivity is infectious and often gets everyone into the vibe. Your boyfriend will be so much happier just being around you.
Even if you want to talk about a bad day, start it off with a smile. Smile when he comes home and ask him about his day. Be cheerful when you are listening to him. Later, even if you complain about your day for an hour, he will still be hooked on to you. That is the power of positivity.
Apart from the sex, there are a lot of things that a woman has to be in order to be the best girlfriend ever. These basics are musts if you want your relationship to flourish and your boyfriend to be the happiest person in the world. Ultimately, it all comes down to how happy you make him feel, even with the littlest of things.