Women differ in their choices greatly. While culture, age, and education play an important role in their choices, its important to note that women process their thoughts and emotions in a way that is drastically different from their male counterparts. Strangely though, there are certain things that are common in women and one of these is their dream about the men of their life.
When it comes to qualities their men must possess, they almost mention the same virtues. Interestingly, many of these have been backed up by science.
In this article, we present to you 20 physical and behavioral traits that women find most attractive. Mind you, these are not just opinions – some of these have been derived at by extensive surveys and/or extensive research by behavioral scientists. The best part is, most of these are something you can actively work upon to make yourself irresistible to women. Do remember that each individual unique and has different taste and preferences, so you will have to access for yourself what floats her boat.
If you are eager to know what every woman seeks in her man, read on.
Craig Malkin, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist at Harvard says “Men and women both prefer a confident date, for a number of reasons.” Research shows that confident people are natural sales people and are able to show themselves are more trustworthy.
Another important reason is that their body language makes it clear that they are interested making their partners reciprocate and like them back. Subconsciously, confidence is the first must-have quality that women seek in men. Confidence can have a variety of meaning depending on context but in this context, we refer to confidence where one feels good about oneself that goes beyond just looks.
Some men take it as a confidence of his abilities, the qualities that he possesses that makes him get what he wants. However, women see it differently. To her sensitive mind, a confident man is the one who is not afraid to take risks. He can stand straight even in the face of rejection.
Confidence is sexy when it comes to men. Real confidence in men doesn’t come from great looks or fat bank balance. It comes from his heart and shows in the way he conducts himself. A confident man would never be afraid to say what is right and back away from approaching a woman he likes. Thus, he is the winner for most women.
If you’ve watched any teen movies, you’ve probably seen a recurring theme – the hottest people seem to get all the attention, whereas the nice guys struggle to get a date – until the hot guys open their mouth, that is. For the rest of us who don’t have the Brad Pitt looks, fret not – in a rather encouraging study at the Huazhong University in China, researchers found that a positive personality can increase perceptions of facial attractiveness.
The research involved 120 male and female adults, who were randomly divided into three groups. They were asked to rate 60 photos of unfamiliar women making neutral facial expressions. Two weeks later, participants were asked to rate the same pictures again. This time around, one group was provided with positive personality descriptions along with the photos, like honesty and kindness. The second group looked at the same photos but were provided with negative personality descriptors such as dishonesty and meanness. The third group also called the “control group” was shown the same photos without any personality descriptors.
What the researchers found was that all the three groups had similar attractiveness ratings in the first round of photo rankings. However, in the second round where the subjects were provided with additional descriptions, the group that was provided with positive personality traits, assigned a significantly higher attractiveness ratings to the photos. On the other hand, the group that was provided with negative personality traits ranked the photos as less attractive compared to the control group.
The researchers concluded “what is good is beautiful” noting a correlation between personality reflecting positive traits and perceived facial attractiveness
Loyalty and devotion
Women want their men to be loyal. Women want to be assured you will be faithful to them. In nearly every survey conducted on this topic, loyalty almost always ranks near the top. It is universally the top quality that a woman wants to see in her man. She wants her boyfriend to be loyal towards her.
Disloyalty in a relationship is an insult to her integrity that she can never bear and a direct reflection of your character. Be a man of character – no woman can accept a guy who checks out other women while being with her or sleeps around with other women and plays with her emotions. You will gain a lot of respect with consistent, committed action and build a strong, long-lasting relationship that will stand the tests time.
Sense of humor
This one again is a trait that women like to see in men – backed up by a study from Stanford University. The study involved 22 subjects, who were shown funny video clips while measuring their brain responses via a functional magnetic resonance imaging machine (fMRI). The researchers observed that the girls observed more positive feelings compared to the boys. The also noted that the girls felt a lot more of a sense of reward than the boys in watching the funny clips.
The researchers added their findings suggest that while selecting a mate, responding to humor is way more effective in women “because the female brain, and particularly the reward circuit, is biologically better prepared to respond accordingly”.
No wonder then, women find it a great feeling to have someone in their life with whom they can share a joke and laugh aloud. With all the competition in a workplace and the daily grind of modern life, she looks for opportunities to let her hair down and enjoy a little bit. Most women look for a partner who can make them smile. A good sense of humor is one of the most desirable qualities in modern men.
In this regard, we would like to stress one point. Modern women are educated and intellectual. Slapstick comedy doesn’t appeal to them. If you are looking forward to impressing a woman, make sure you work on your sense of humor. Create a stock of good one liners, intelligent jokes that would bring a smile on her face.
If you are confident, crack jokes on your habits and make her warm up to you.
If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her fall in love with you.
No, we are not talking about physical strength here. Although it is a good thing for a man to possess physical strength so that he can sweep his lady off her feet easily (physically) but here we are talking about his mental strength that makes woman swoon over him.
A strong mind and character is what makes a man really attractive. A man who can resist temptations and can stay strong in times of crisis, a man who can stay calm when odds are against him and swing things in his favor is a strong man. A woman wants a man who can make her feel safe.
Somewhere down the line we have become so ambitious and materialistic that we have given up some virtues and integrity is one of them. However, women who are mature, strong and have values of their own still look for this quality in their men. Men who can keep their words, whose actions justify their words, and who never back from what they promised are the men with integrity who are most sought after by women. When it comes to integrity, it can be explained in a few words
Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.
Trust is vital in any relationship, but for many couples, trust remains an elusive goal. Whether its family, friends or former partners, for some, past experiences have left them unable to completely set aside their doubts and distrust in any new relationships they form, which can be disastrous to any new relationship. Therefore, it is extremely important for a man and woman to build trust in each other when they get into a relationship.
Trust is a central feature of all romantic relationships. It is the building block on which a relationship is built, yet in a poll conducted by The Normal Bar involving more than 100,000 participants, it was found that only 39% of women completely trust their partners. This is the single factor that can make or break a relationship.
A relationship becomes successful only when both the partners can trust each other completely and most women understand this fact. Build that trust. Make your partner feel you will be responsive to her needs. Make her confident that you will look for her best interest at all times.
Now we come to a very tricky area. Most women are articulate. They can express themselves beautifully. Women love to talk also and thus make great conversationalists. Our society also stereotypes women as emotional and good communicators. This has to do with the way the brain of girl children develop during pregnancy and also childhood. For men, the case is almost opposite. Men are seen as practical, less emotional and flimsy in expressing themselves.
There are sharp differences between how men and women see things and interpret them and this is beautifully summed up in this quote:
Men and women may speak the same language, but we interpret words differently.
Studies (warning: pdf) indicate that lack for verbal and nonverbal communication between a couple can lead to the desolation of the relationship. Several studies indicate that couples often don’t share their true feelings with their partners. The most common communication mistakes couples make is not speaking up and expecting your partner to read your mind.
Yes, good communication takes effort. It’s hard. And often, it doesn’t go smoothly. But failure to communicate well can quickly take a relationship south. Do note that its about how well you communicate and not how much you communicate – for example, consider using we more often than I. Also, make a sincere effort to consider the other person’s point of view.
A loving partner
Shouldn’t this be the first must-have quality in men that women seek? There can be a debate on that and you can keep this trait at the top of your list. Most women want to be loved. A woman looks for a man who cares for her and loves her unconditionally. She wants her man to take care of her well-being like she does. Getting her feelings reciprocated is what a woman seeks most in her man.
According to a survey carried out at Concordia University in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, while men prefer looks over other qualities, women find earning potential and ambition more important than physical appearance. This is an evolutionary behavior, which leads us to this irrational decision-making. “A poor provider or an unloving father would have serious consequences for the woman and her offspring.”, said Mr. Saad, who led the study.
An ambitious man appeals to her because of his industrious nature. He is a dreamer, thinks big and has definite goals in his life. An ambitious man is ready to give his best to achieve his dreams and that makes him so attractive to women. He inspires people through his actions and wants his woman to be more confident and independent and how can a woman not want such a man in her life? So if you don’t already have one, this might be a good time to set up some life goals!
No one wants a relationship to get boring. So, women look for men who are adventurous and know how to infuse excitement in a relationship. Be it taking her to unusual places for dating or surprising her gifts, he knows how to keep the spark flying. Women seek this adventurous trait in their men so that the relationship remains interesting.
For a relationship to thrive it is important that the man and the woman are on the same intellectual plane. This would enable them to stimulate, challenge and help each other grow. Every woman dreams of a man with whom she can engage in meaningful conversations and compliment her intellect.
Listen to her
Ask any woman what frustrates her most about her partner and there is a high probability that the answer would be not listening to her. well, you may say that usually talks too much and it is important for a man to listen, decipher and come up with apt replies all the time, but we would keep that point aside for some other post. Here we are dealing with the must-have qualities of men of dream and listening intently is definitely a trait that most women wish their men to possess.
To win the heart of your lady love, learn to respect her and her values. Respect her for her work. Respect her for the efforts she gives to make the relationship work.
A woman deserves respect from her man. She usually looks for a man who knows how to appreciate love and care and reciprocates her feelings too.
When it comes to respect, remember this – I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.
Respect her parents and friends too
Respect doesn’t stop at her. A woman wants her man to respect her parents and friends too. She desires her man to respect all the people who are important in her life like her parents and siblings and friends and accept them as they are. She would respect her man a lot more if he respects them too.
A man who doesn’t respect his woman’s parents must think of everything they have done for her to bring her up. Moreover, as a man, you wouldn’t like to see your parents mistreated or disrespected and so you shouldn’t disrespect her parents also.
Moreover, knowing a woman’s parents and friends closely would help a man to know her better also. This would go a long way in forging a better bond with her. Being a part of his life. Being a girlfriend or wife, she wants to be a major part of her man’s life. She wants her guy to give her importance and involve her in his life. Be it taking her out often to sharing your concerns, she deserves the most important place in her guy’s life.
If a man can make his woman a part of his life he can accept the same from her which would make the relationship more enjoyable.
Give her space
Today a woman is more independent, be it mentally or physically. So, she wants her space and wants her man to understand her. She cannot tolerate her man to be suspicious of her activities. According to an ongoing federally funded longitudinal study, “Having enough space, or privacy, in a relationship is even more important to a couple’s happiness than a good sex life” and restricting her would only make the man lose her respect.
Dr. Orbuch, author of the book “Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great.” says, “When individuals have their own friends, their own set of interests, when they are able to define themselves not by their spouse or relationship, that makes them happier and less bored.”
So stop making those calls to check on her every few minutes, perhaps even encourage her to spend time with her friends or pursue her hobbies more often. Women also see this as your confidence in her, which she will appreciate a lot!
Being serious about his career, a woman wants her partner to encourage her to achieve her goals and be successful. The man of her dream would be one who motivates her, shares her worries and helps her to find solutions to her problems.
How would she want her husband to react when she is upset over a fight she had with her best friend? She wants you to be sensitive and not make any harsh comments. She would appreciate if you do not criticize her but try to understand her stand. A sensitive partner is every woman’s dream.
Here is the twist. No matter how independent a woman is, a little bit of chivalry is bound to make her feel good. She doesn’t want her man to pay her bills or be her support system but small things like opening the door for her of dropping her back home, makes her feel special. Her man of dreams is chivalric but in a modern way. if you can fit her bill, she would be yours for the whole life.
Being there always
Well, this is again a no-brainer. A man who is always there for her no matter what comes is her ideal man. She is capable of taking care of herself, but she wants a partner who can provide her with mental support and is always there to hold her hand and tell her that everything is fine.
This is a wish that every girl makes while looking for her partner. no matter how old she is or how tough she behaves at heart, she is still a little girl who wants a special person to pamper her. Don’t think that only buying her expensive jewelry or dresses would make her feel good. It’s about the way you do it. Pampering is calling her up when she is upset, bringing her chocolates often and telling her that she is beautiful.
A modern woman is beautiful, graceful, intelligent and confident. Looks matter to her so do financial stability but most importantly she is moved by intelligence. She wants her man to be sensitive, caring, funny, intellectual, pampering, trustworthy and chivalric. She is smart and confident but secretly wishes her man to outsmart her. She aspires for a partner who can hold her hand, motivate her to face her challenges. She wants to learn from him and with him, she wants to grow with him. Along with that throw in a little humor and make her smile when life gets tough.
So, did you get what a modern woman wants her man to be? Is it tough to be that man?