Are you a western guy who had been dating an Asian gal, specifically someone who comes from the country dubbed as the “Sleeping Giant,” Thailand? Have you been noticing some differences with your backgrounds and starting to have minor setbacks? Are you thinking about introducing her to your colleagues, friends, and family? Well, here are some ways on how to introduce your Thai girlfriend to your family and friends:
1. Make sure that you are both ready
When it comes to dating, no matter what race or tribe or nation you are from, bringing your girlfriend to a family or company event to introduce her to friends, colleagues or family members is undeniably a giant step for the relationship. And in this case, if you are dating a typical Thai lady who is deeply rooted in her culture, you should know that they are not really like the western girls who are just cool with meeting their guy’s family and friends even if they had just been on one date. If you are going to trace the culture of the Thais, you would be able to fathom that introducing your girlfriend to your parents and siblings basically means that you two are going to the next level. You should always take into consideration the fact that the Thai culture is not the same as the western culture. That is basically why Thai women tend to really take dating and relationships seriously. So, if you are thinking whether or not introducing your girlfriend probably means the both of you are taking things earnestly, I’m gonna stop you right there and tell you, “Hell yeah! What you are planning to do is an indication that you wanna bring your relationship to a higher degree!”
So the question will be, are you ready to take that big step? Are you ready to take your relationship a notch higher? So how would you know whether or not you are ready? Well, for one, you have already decided that you are in it for the long haul. Also, you might be seeing your future with your girlfriend in it. And last but not the least, you are planning things together.
However, if in any case you do not feel those things with your girlfriend, if you do not see a future with her, or do not love her the way she loves and cares for you, you should might as well reconsider and postpone introducing her to your parents or family because it might send her the wrong message, and the two of you would only end up in a misunderstanding. But if you have already set everything up, like if you have already made a reservation at the restaurant and cancellations are impossible, or if you have already called everyone and they are all psyched about the meet-up, the least thing you can do is tell her that it is just a simple dinner with your family or friends, and that you would like to take things slow. Clarify that you two are simply hanging out and enjoying each other’s company, or else you might end up hurting her feelings.
2. Think about the perfect place
Another important thing you should never ever forget when it comes to introducing your Thai girlfriend to your family and friends is to really think about the perfect place for the occasion. I am not trying to scare you with a cliché, but believe me, first impressions last, so if you have it in your mind that this girl is the one for you; you better make sure that she will meet your Mom, Dad, sisters, brothers, colleagues, etc, in the perfect location. Why do you need to find the perfect place for this meetup? Simply because being at a nice and great place will create an aura of calmness and happiness, ergo, the moment you give your big announcement that you have a serious girlfriend who comes from another race, everyone is at their best and nicest behavior.
Just imagine taking your family or friends out to a noisy and crowded restaurant: your Mom ordering a chicken salad but getting a chicken sandwich, people from the next table always bumping into your Dad, and the music being too loud that you and your gang are unable to make a proper conversation. And then you decide to surprise them with an announcement that you are dating someone seriously, so your Thai girlfriend arrives and greets this group of your favorite people in the whole world, who, unfortunately, had just become irate because of the waiter’s wrong orders and the crowd’s noise. Believe it or not, because your friends’ of family’s mood turned sour due to the bad environment, their impression of your girlfriend can turn sour too. They might have thoughts like, “So this is where Miss Thailand loves to eat? What poor taste she has (together with some eye rolling)” or, “I’m never going on a double date with these two. Never gonna put myself through this again.” See? Because of your poor choice of the venue, your peeps had a bad impression with your girlfriend.
To avoid those bad scenarios, maybe you can bring the whole gang and your girlfriend to a nice restaurant, with some nice music where everyone will feel relaxed and be more than happy to share smiles and conversations. Go to a place where your girlfriend will not feel awkward and left out. Deeply rooted Thai ladies tend to be shy at first so avoid bringing your girlfriend to clubs or bars if you are going to introduce her since it might make her feel uncomfortable. Another ideal setting for introducing your Thai girlfriend to your associates and kin is a dinner with a garden-like set since the color green creates a sense of harmony and safety. Being around a chill environment will make her feel at ease and only then will she really be able to be herself.
3. Think of the perfect timing
Another thing you must always consider when it comes to introducing your Thai girlfriend to the people really close to you (relatives and colleagues) is the timing of the meeting. Make sure that you will schedule it in a time which is convenient for everyone. also
Never ever schedule this gathering in a difficult time; say for instance if you two are still studying, do not schedule your dinner or lunch with your family and girlfriend during exam (hell) week. If you do so, and you actually have an examination the day after your meeting, the two of you would only be preoccupied thinking about the possible questions which might come up, calculating the score you need to obtain in order to salvage your general average, so on and so forth. The two of you will not be able to concentrate on enjoying the company of your family and friends, and they might think that your Thai girlfriend is all weird and snobbish.
Another no – no when it comes to arranging a get – together is that you might as well forget about bringing her to a wedding if you want to introduce her to the people you love. By doing so, your girlfriend might get the idea that you might be TOO serious and things might be moving too fast for the both of you. She might get pressured with your relationship and think about cooling things down. It would just make things difficult and awkward for you two, so might as well avoid that.
4. Make sure she feels comfortable
When it comes to dating someone who does not come from the same race or country, you should always remember that one of the keys to introducing your beloved and special someone, is to make her feel comfortable. Always remember that she is in an unfamiliar territory and is going to meet new people, so you know for a fact that it is pretty much gonna be stressful for her. Do everything in your power to make her feel relaxed during the whole dinner or lunch. You should also consider matters such as how she might not be highly proficient at speaking your language yet, so in those cases, you must always hand around and always be ready to assist her with what she is trying to say. On the other hand, if she knows how to speak your language well, you can simply make her at ease by talking about topics she can relate to and opening about matters she is very passionate of.
5. Avoid bringing “difficult people”
Come on, we all know how some people are not cool when it comes to inter-racial dating, and yeah, some people are bitter and racists, and the moment they hear you have an Asian girlfriend, they go crazy since they have some issues with other races. Just imagine if you bring this kind of person to your get – together / meet – my – girlfriend meet-up. That would be a total bummer, right? Worse, these individuals want other people to listen and believe in their opinion. Ergo, these difficult folks would eventually spread rumors which might destroy your relationship. In order to avoid the distress brought by this kind of persons, it would be best for you to simply avoid bringing them if you would introduce your Thai girlfriend to the group or to your family.
6. Give her a background of your family and friends
If you are going to introduce your Thai girlfriend to your family and friends, make sure that you have shared some points or notes to your girlfriend about them. Tell her about your siblings; your age gap with your sister or brother; about the way your older sister is protective of you because she still sees you as a baby brother; about how your Mom, who every time sees you have a girlfriend, would always mention about your cousin Margaret who already got married and now has three babies and that she would already love to have grandsons or granddaughters. Give your girlfriend a head’s up of the people she is about to meet. For example, if you have a gay brother who will meet her, tell her beforehand, or else she may accidentally say stuff like, “I have a beautiful friend who seems perfect for you, maybe I can set the two of you up.” Your brother will probably be pissed at her and even think that your girlfriend is insensitive towards his feelings.
And of course, no matter how much we love our family and friends, we just do not have the liberty to control their emotions and manners. You can have a friend who can be too talkative and tactless when it comes to speaking, so your girlfriend might get caught off guard, especially if she does not speak your language too well. You can also have a “wildcard” in your family who always gives racist comments, sexist remarks, and corny jokes; which might make your girlfriend very comfortable. In order to somehow avoid weird situations and uncomfortable moments when you introduce your Thai girlfriend to your family and friends, always give your baby an overview of the people she will be meeting.
So if you are unable to spare bringing those “difficult people” in your group date/meet and greet with your girlfriend, at least warn her about them. In short, good communication with your Thai girlfriend is the key here.
7. Take a breath of fresh air when things get out of hand
No matter what we do, even if we invite our beloved parents, siblings, friends, and officemates to meet our significant other, things can basically go wrong. For example, no matter how sweet your Mom is, things can still get pretty out of hand, she might make your Thai girlfriend feel unwelcome the moment she talks about your previous relationships to her. You can also have a best friend who loves you dearly, but is actually pretty mischievous and would not stop talking about how wild you used to when you were still in college. Both scenarios would undeniably make your girlfriend uncomfortable, so when things start to go out of hand, you better pull your girlfriend aside for a while and chill.
There are also other cases of uncomfortable instances brought about by gate crashers. You know how sometimes, we just can’t avoid gate crasher’s in any event, or those people who, even if you had not invited them, would still arrive at the event, and in this case, those people who you intended to not invite but had unfortunately heard that you are going to meet your family and friends to introduce your girlfriend, and decided to invite themselves. If in any case, these gate crashers start to make things weird and awkward during your gathering, the two of you can blow some steam off and move away from the table for some time. Excuse yourselves for a while, and take a breath of fresh air.
8. Don’t mind the judgmental people
Judgmental people. These are those persons who have created in their minds some pre-conceived notion against another person, race, thing, issue, or basically any matter. Some people have issues with those who are black. Some people are against lesbians, transgenders, and gays. So don’t be shocked if you discover that you have a friend or family member who thinks you dating a Thai girl is a mistake. You see, there are some Westerners who have been fed with the idea that women from the country of Thailand only date white men in order to escape the quagmire of poverty. They may also believe that Thai women want to marry Westerners as a stepping stone and passport towards having a better life and even becoming rich. Sure, there might be Thai ladies out there who actually do that, but if what you truly feel about your Thai girlfriend is true and that the two of you are actually hitting it off really well, then, you should know better and trust her. Do not let those judgmental people contaminate and pollute your mind into thinking lowly of your girlfriend. Always remember that you are a grown up and that the opinion and judgment of your friend or family should not matter when it comes to your dating life… Well, of course, unless your girlfriend is taking advantage of you. But otherwise, you know girlfriend, I mean, you’ve probably been going out for some time and are basically serious with your relationship, so if you think that her intentions with you are pure, then, there is no way for you to listen to those judgmental peers of yours.
9. Defend your girlfriend from your toxic family and friends
We can’t please everybody. That’s a fact. There is always gonna be a person who would hate us no matter what we do. Even if we do everything in our power to try and please them, they just would not be pleased. So if in any case, when your Mom, Dad, sister, brother, or friend starts becoming harsh or mean to your Thai girlfriend, you must always be ready to defend her. Make sure that you girlfriend feels like she can depend on you and that you always got her back. This way, your family. and friends would realize that you are actually serious about this girl and that you are willing to stand your ground and fight for her. Plus, this is also a good way of impressing your girlfriend. She will definitely fall in love with you even more when she sees that you are more than ready to protect and look after her. Those are definitely some cool guy points you will be gaining right then and there.
10. Make sure she bids everyone goodbye
At the end of the get – together and meet – my – girlfriend meeting with your family and friends, make sure that your Thai girlfriend bade everyone goodbye. No matter how weird the gathering might have been, make sure that you are going to leave everyone in good terms. Even if a family member or a good friend had awkward conversations and snide comments about your Thai girlfriend, you still have to make sure that at the end of the gathering, she is still able to be courteous and respectful to everyone.
There you have it! Introducing your Thai girlfriend to your family and friends is not gonna that difficult now, ey?