Ten Signals That You Are Just Her Pocket Money
Here in Thailand, it is quite undeniable how the number of foreigners, specifically Westerners, had been drastically increasing each year. And guess what is directly correlated to this? You give up? Okay, here it goes – none other than – the number of inter-racial couples. Yep, couple comprised of a Thai woman and a foreign man. And take it from me, when someone is dating Thai lady, rumors are definitely easy to spread. People would say stuff like, “she is basically just dating you because of your money”, or “she just wants to marry you because you are rich”, and worse “she does not love you but would want you to pay for her bills”, etc, etc, etc; the list goes on and on. I just hate it when I hear those kinds of crap.
Sadly, I cannot really blame those judgmental people out there. You see, there are actually stories and instances in which guys were duped of their money by their very own girlfriend and wife here in my very own country.
Do you happen to be going out with someone right now? Are you getting the feeling that she might only be after your money? Here are ten signals to determine whether or not your girlfriend only sees you as her pocket money. My name is Nam, and trust me, I just know about this.
- She is obviously interested in your income
The first signal which indicates that your girl is after your money is her “unique” and “strong” interest when it comes to your income. What exactly do I mean with “unique” and “strong”? Well, basically, it would seem like your income is that only thing she is interested in. Your girlfriend might always ask about your income; how much your salary is, when your salary is due each month, if your salary came on time, when you will be having a raise in your salary, why is your salary delayed, and a whole lot more of butt-crap about your salary.When your girlfriend’s questions and point of interest only revolve in your income; that, my friend, is a huge headlight pointing out that she is already calculating what benefits she can get from being with you. Come to think of it, there are literally millions of topics which the two of you can talk about: your careers, family, hobbies, local news, and the vacation trips you can go to, so why on earth would she only want to talk about your income and your income alone? Looks like your girlfriend’s interest in only piqued by things related with money. Oh – oh.
- She never EVER pays for your date
Another sign which points out that she is simply dating you because of your money is the fact that she never EVER pays for your dates. If you are going to dig into the culture of people from Thailand, you would find out that they do not really like it when you treat them for dinner or for meals, and even for trips and for shopping. Thais tend to feel like you are belittling them and that you are treating them as an inferior every time you pay for whatever they want to buy. So if your Thai girlfriend is making you pay every time you go out on a date, you better take a step back and reevaluate your relationship, because it is crystal clear that she sees you as a walking bank.
And seriously, I don’t know where the hell people ever got the idea that men should pay all the time, but let me tell you; that just sounds freakin’ crazy! Let us get some things straight here, I am a woman and currently going out with my boyfriend (we’ve been dating for more than five years already, try to beat that! Haha!), and I am definitely not ashamed to say that I do pay for our dinner and other meals sometimes. At times, we do splitsies (50% – 50%) or like the 70% – 30% share, or whatever sharing is convenient.Making guys pay all the time just because they are “guys”; I gotta say that is just one solid example of double standards and sexism. Plus, you know, that girl is basically duping you and just wants to get free meals, trips, dating activities and all.
- It seems like she is hiding on social media
Normally, Thai women are proud to show their up and coming career in the social media. In fact, instances are, they love showing people what they have already attained in their lives, not really in the “showing off” way, but just simply saying that they are strong women and they can manage to become successful. Some Thai women could post a status in Facebook talking about being sent to another country for a seminar her company had funded.Others, may it be via a post in Facebook, couple of twits with photos in Twitter, lots and lots of office selfies in Instagram or a formal medium such as LinkedLn. There are also times in which girls post couple pictures; dates with their boyfriend, out of town travels with their guy, or simply a snap of a romantic dinner date – for the sole purpose of simply sharing it to other people. If your girl seems like she is hiding on social media, then there might be something she is not telling you.
- Dates become shopping sessions
Another signal which is basically indicating that your Thai girlfriend may only be after your money are those dates which pretty much seem like shopping sessions. Dates, as what we all know, are about spending some time together, enjoying the conversations you two will be having, sharing your insights about life, and having a good laugh together. So if your Thai girlfriend, on the other hand, wants to spend more time shopping and buying things, rather than actually “spending quality time together”, I’m so sorry to tell you this, but you may need to think twice about your affair.Come to think about it; during dates, couples who are totally digging into each other are even contented with simply being together. Sitting together in a parking bench, shaking each other’s head whilst laughing, watching the stars at night, or even holding each other’s hand while walking at the park – all of these simple scenarios are apparently the perfect date for couples who are very much in love with each other. If in any case, your Thai girlfriend thinks that the said dates are lame, and would much rather go out and shop at the mall with you, and worse, she wants you to spend and pay for all of the stuff she wants to buy, that dear boy, is a clear hint that all she really cares for is your money.
- Your girlfriend is always talking about financial issues
Another sign signifying that the woman you are dating is only using you as her pocket money would be the fact that she is always talking about financial issues. Like always.
Say instance, I have an American friend named John (he can’t know about this, he will definitely be furious with me!). John had been staying here in Thailand since 2013. We met at the university I used to study at, and wherein he enrolled at. He eventually loved the country and is now staying here for good. Anyways, John met a lovely lady months after he arrived at Thailand. Ha Lin was undeniably one of the most beautiful girls at the university, definitely a head-turner, I’m telling you.
John, being captivated by her beauty, became very fond of her, and the two eventually ended up dating. However, John started feeling a little off about their relationship. Lin would always talk about how her family cannot afford to send her to school anymore, and that her Dad had been laid off from work so she and her siblings will probably stop going to school and that she needed to work in order to support the family. Of course, John was worried sick because his girlfriend was in trouble. Wanting to help Lin, John would ask his parents to increase his monthly allowance because of projects and other requirements, but of course he lied; John was asking for money because he wanted to help Ha Lin with her financial problems. Months have passed; John thought they had the perfect relationship.But what happened next shocked him. When John and his friends decided to go on a night out one night, guess who he found drinking and partying at the bar? None other than Ha Lin, who told him that she was working that night. Of course, John was heartbroken – Ha Lin said that she was having financial problems that’s why they can’t hang out every night because she need to work, but it turns out that she was just out every night partying and using John’s money for her personal use. The moment you start hearing about your Thai girlfriend always complaining about financial matters and asking for your help, you better start evaluating things as early as you can.
- Your gf does not have future plans with you
I know it is super weird to think about that previous statement. You are probably thinking about things like, “Wait what? A girl does not dreamily think about future plans with her boyfriend?” Or, “girls are totally crazy about future plans, right? They love planning about the future, name it: weddings, wedding gown, entourage, reception, the list goes on and on.” You get my point, right? It is probably a cliché to say it, but us ladies, we love planning and thinking about the future, especially if our partner is included in it.
We love planning weekend getaways to the beach, out of the country vacations, romantic dinners. Oh! The mere thought of it is exciting! Now, if your girlfriend seems like she is not excited about planning a future together with you, might as well think about your relationship and how it is totally not a priority for her. You may be in love with her, but clearly you are not included with the future she is envisioning.
- You can sense that she is actually interested in Thai guys
Another indication which gives us the idea that your Thai gf is only after your money is if she is obviously still attracted to Thai guys. You probably would come up with your very own excuse as to why your Thai girl still likes Thai men even though the two of you are already together. You can tell yourself that it is normal to still like another guy even though you are dating someone. But seriously, bro, how do you feel about that? Not really cool at all.
Actually, I have friends who used to say the same things, as per those guys, it is alright to fantasize about another person and that it does not do any real harm to the relationship. But if you think about it, like really think about it, how would you feel if one of these days, the two of you would go out on a date, then suddenly you bump into one of her huge crushes. At first, you try to act like it is not a big deal, trying to act cool, thinking that it is harmless.However, your Thai girlfriend excuses herself and tells you that she will have a small chat with her crush since they are “friends”. The spark and excitement in her eyes are quite obvious, but you being cool, allows her to. Next thing you know, they are both laughing at he said and the guy is whispering something into your girlfriend’s ear. Is it still not a big deal? Can you still stay calm and collected after seeing this scenario? I bet not. With the two of you dating, but she still wants to get cozy and close with another guy, I suggest you take a rain check, pal!
- She is not trying to adjust
It is given that in every relationship, one must always adjust. Take me and my boyfriend for example (he is also Thai like me by the way). We have been dating for the last five years, and despite having been able to spend so much time together, we still get into each other’s nerves sometimes because we still unravel new discoveries about each other. In order to make the relationship work, Li Mak and I would talk about our differences, and adjust. Yes, we still adjust even though we have been together for a long time.
Now, let us talk about you, my jolly good fellow from another nation, whose heart had been captured by a gorgeous and amazing Thai girl. You may be dating for some time already, say six months or over a year. Of course, having been raised in two different cultures, there is no denying that the two of you must adjust. I mean, come on, my boyfriend and I continuously adjust, so there is no way any other couple should not.And if you are totally into your Thai girlfriend, I am sure you have already done your part and made lots of adjustments. But let me ask you, did your girlfriend do the same thing? Did she go an extra mile for your relationship and adjust? Or does she neglect any possibility of accepting your culture, family and life back home? Does she stubbornly avoid adopting even a little bit? Hmm. Looks like this is code red for you my friend!
- She is never jealous when you are with other girls
Let us be clear here, as a woman who is seriously dating a guy, if I would ever see another woman getting too close with my boyfriend, my best advise would be for them to run as fast as they can and head to a place wherein I won’t be able to lay a finger on them, or else. GRRRR! Yeap, I am a jealous girlfriend, but seriously, who does not get jealous? For those of you raising your hand saying that you do not get jealous, I am literally rolling my eyes on you.Come on, no matter how much you trust your girlfriend or boyfriend, chances are, you would still be transforming into the Incredible Hulk the moment you see your woman or man getting too cozy with another male / female species who is not actually blood related. So if your Thai girlfriend looks like she does not give a darn when you are with another woman, she is basically just playing you, and does not have any plans on taking your relationship to the next level.
- She starts disappearing when you stop paying
And of course, last but definitely not the least one, the biggest indication that this Thai girlfriend of yours is simply using you as her pocket money, is the fact that she starts avoiding you the moment you stop paying. Yeap, as lame and as shameful as that previous statement sounds, it is true that there are actually some Thai girls out there who would do that. The moment they hear that their boyfriends are having problems with regards to financial matters, these women tend to shy away and avoid their boyfriends.
For example, Pim, a thai gal, had been going out with her boyfriend John for a couple months. During that period of time, John had spoiled her by taking her out to dinner at expensive restaurants almost every night. Of course, Pim just can’t help but get used to going out each night, eating caviar and drinking expensive bottles of wine. However, things were about to get sour. Pim, working at the office, just out of nowhere, suddenly receives a text from John, saying that he just got fired by his employer.
Things got tough; expensive dinners at fancy restaurants turned into eating meat subs and tacos at food stands. At first Pim was pretty cool about it, she was even supportive. But having been spoiled by John, Pim started getting mad at her boyfriend. She would shout at him and blame him for losing his job. Eventually, Pim decided to break up with John. Is that really how love works? Is that how easy love breaks?If you are having financial problems now and your girlfriend seems to be getting pissed with you all the time because of it and if she starts avoiding you eventually, you should might as well weigh things up. People in relationships fight, that is just normal, but you should know that trials are just part of every relationship. Come to think of it, if she can’t handle you at your worst, she most definitely does not deserve you at your best. If she cannot accept the fact that you might be on a tight budget and that you can’t afford expensive stuff anymore, then, she is simply infatuated by your riches and totally not in love with you.
Now you have a few guidelines as to how to determine whether your Thai girlfriend is faithful to you or your money! Be careful out there in the dating world, okay?