A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.
Mark is an unhappy man. He married in his early twenties but his wife ditched him for her colleague. Ever since that marriage broke, he had a string of affairs but none could give him happiness. He missed something in these relationships but couldn’t comprehend what. Recently he met someone on an online dating site and has decided to marry her. If you are curious to know who the lucky girl is, he has chosen a Thai bride for himself.
Marrying a Thai women
There is an increasing presence of Latina, Asian, Russian and Eastern European women on dating apps. With their beauty, intelligence, positive attitude, and warm behavior these women are finding places in the hearts of young westerners who are looking for stable, long-term relationships and marriage.
Today, more people get into interracial marriages than ever before. Asian women, especially Thai brides are in high demand. In a previous post, we discussed what makes Thai women so special. We’ve also discussed as to why western men swoon over Thai girls? We’ll recap some of the recurring reasons here, but you should really go read the linked articles to get a complete picture.
Thai girls – what makes them irresistible?
Their unique physical traits are hard to miss and is probably also the first thing you will notice in Thai girls. Most of them are petite, have varied complexion with smooth uniform skin, have long and beautiful hair and are elegant. Like most Asians, Thai women are brunette. They have excellent sense of dressing, and can carry themselves very well in western as well as traditional Thai outfits. Many western men find these attributes very attractive and are naturally drawn to them.
Thailand ensconced in Asian culture, is different from the western world. It still holds on to traditions and cultural practices that have been declared redundant in other parts of the world. Most women give importance to the men in their lives, they love to take care of the family and children and are very simple. This, coupled with the modern outlook makes a Thai most attractive. They are well grounded, feminine in their terms and not ashamed of it. Their soft-spoken nature and overall mannerisms is the second most desirable trait according to some western men.
A Modern outlook to life
Thailand being a popular tourist destination gets a lot of western tourists and thus the population in the major cities is well acquainted with the western lifestyle. The young Thai girls get a taste of global life in the big cities and can easily make friends with western men. They find it so easy to talk on diverse issues. They are intellectually advanced and that no doubt, adds to their charm. Thai girls are romantic. They love the notion of their men paying 100% attention to them. They love to go out, party, drink and enjoy life.
Why Thai brides are the best to settle down in life?
Marriage is not on the priority list for a lot of people today. The sorry state most marriages make people weary of getting married. The young generation, who are busy building their career are more comfortable with casual flings. However, as they grow old, the idea of marriage comes into their mind. They think of settling down with someone whom they can trust. You would find today that most men in their middle age decide to marry.
Apart from some of the characteristics described above, many men who are married to Thai women, swear by these qualities they really adore in their wives:
If you have any friend married to a Thai girl, you would know what I mean. Thai ladies have a gorgeous smile and an amazingly pleasant personality. Their cheery nature makes it easy for people to approach them. And yes, they are friendly too.
They gel well with the in-laws
If you have any doubt about this just think how they marry foreigners and accept the challenge of adapting to a different lifestyle and culture. A lot of Thai brides get settled in the USA, UK, and other western countries and adapt themselves. Although they are shy and conservative, with encouragement and love and respect they bloom into best life partners that you can ever imagine having. Give your Thai bride respect, love, and care and see how she brings happiness in your life.
Deep cultural values
The man-woman relationship is still considered pious in Thai culture. So, Thai wives respect their husbands and take care of them. They honor the relationship and give it the maximum priority. They also put great importance on family and are willing to work hard to build it. They bring out the best in their husbands and inspire the men to achieve social and professional goals. Thus, a Thai wife ensures that the man of the house gets respect, love, and care, is honored for his virtues and gets enough encouragement to pursue his financial and life objectives.
Do you wonder what makes Thai women so devoted to their husbands? It is their culture and bringing up that make them such great wives. They see men as the provider of the family and would do everything to keep them happy. They are highly committed to the relationships and if you give them love and care, they would reciprocate equally or even more in terms of their devotion, faithfulness, and care.
Life becomes lot more fun with a Thai bride. The cultural differences can become the enjoyable thing as you share and try to learn more about each other’s culture. The Buddhist teachings, Thai cuisine, their age-old beliefs, and traditions may intrigue you. Similarly, your Thai bride would be very inquisitive about your culture. Together, you can create an enriching relationship and keep on learning. Moreover, Thai brides, with their intuition, perception and wisdom would help you to tackle life’s difficult situations better. You can rely on her practical methods.
Dating a Thai woman
For any marriage to succeed, it is really important for the couple to know each other intimately. So much so, that we have and entire guide to dating Thai women. It is really important that the two of you spend as much time as possible with each other and get acquainted with each other’s personalities, lifestyle, and weirdness.
Do crazy things, make memories, laugh and enjoy life. Learn about each other’s tastes, culture and everything that would help you to know each other. Try different cuisines, watch movies, visit new places and make your relationship enriching.
Find the right places to meet. Do not always meet at a bar or a restaurant. Thailand has so many exotic places which you can explore together. See her country with her eyes and you would find it more amazing.
Meeting the parents
Once you’ve spent enough time with each other, and are willing to take the relationship forward, it might be appropriate to meet her parents. Your first meeting can be somewhat of a challenge considering the language and cultural differences. If you aren’t already, this might be a good time to familiarize yourself with Thai customs. It is quiet possible her parents speak very limited English or none at all. So take a crash course in Thai and learn a few Thai phrases and greetings.
If you’ve been invited to the girls home, consider taking a gift along – a basket of fruit or some fine wine may be appropriate. In Thai society, it is considered impolite to wear shoes inside homes, so be sure to take them off before entering her home. If her mom’s doing the cooking, remember to praise her cooking, or even better, show her, by taking extra large portions. And remember to help the family with the dishes once you’re done eating. If you’re meeting at a restaurant, pick up the tab.
Irrespective of how little you are able to talk to each other, it is very important you always be a gentleman. That would be my first advice to you. It is important you respect your girlfriend, her culture, and her family. Remember, since in Thai culture, the family is given supreme position, unless you respect her parents and others you don’t stand a chance to win her heart. So, wear your knight’s armor be the man your Thai would-be-bride would be proud of. Talk softly, listen carefully, appreciate her and make everyone in the family comfortable in your company.
You cannot hurry love. You need time to know someone, understand, appreciate and fall in love. Give yourself and your Thai girlfriend or fiancee the time it requires to know each other fully. Don’t rush but enjoy the time you spend together. This is especially true where there are significant differences between you and your partner in terms of age, lifestyle, upbringing, language and culture.
Event though it is not mandatory, it might be a really good idea for both of you to get engaged for a fair period of time before deciding to marry. This is recommended because it gives both the parties an opportunity to get to know each other very well and determine if you are the right partners for each other.
It is Thai tradition for the groom to meet the bride’s family and seek consent from the entire family before they can get engaged.
A typical Thai engagement ceremony lasts just a few hours and is mostly a family affair. It is imperative that the two of you spend as much time as possible with each other before you decide to tie the knot and an engagement is a good step in that direction. Do understand that, an engagement is still not a permission for the girl to move in with you.
Before you get married, its really important you make yourself acquainted not only with her family but also her culture, traditions, and customs. This is really important because it helps avoid contentions and misunderstandings that may arise at a later stage. This is also important because once married, you will also be expected to accept, adapt and even follow some of these as a family.
There are plenty of sources on the internet that can help you get a good idea of the Thai society and that Thai way of living, some of them right here on thisDating. While there might be plenty of cultural differences, we will highlight two very important differences that you absolutely must be aware of.
1. Family obligations
Thai families are very close-knit, and it is not uncommon for several generations to live under one roof. In Thai society, men are considered the head of the family. They are expected to be the bread-winner and take care of all the financial aspects of the family. This has a direct relation to ones social status in the family and the respect one receives from others around him. Other family members seldom goes against the decision of the family head.
It is also customary for children to support and take care of the elderly both, financially and otherwise. So don’t be surprised if your wife continues to send some of the money she earns back to support her family. After marriage, the husband may also be expected to share some of the financial burden of the wife’s family. This is especially true, if the family suffers a sudden decline in finances or health. So strong are these family bonds in Thai society that its extremely rare for a Thai family to put its elderly in an adult home or other similar facility.
Do note that, while there might be some expectation of financial help in times of genuine need, most families will not expect you to build them a house or expect you to make other such significant investment for them. If you do get such demands from her or her family, consider the possibility that she might be in the relationship for your money.
2. Sin Sod or the Dowry
Of all the differences between western – Thai cultures, the one thing that most western men struggle with is the concept of Sin Sod or dowry.
When a Thai women gets married, her family gets a monetary compensation from the groom. As mentioned before, in Thai society, children are expected to provide financial security to the elderly and its very common for earning members of the family to send part of their income to their parents. This arrangement has been in vogue in Thailand for centuries. So, sin sod is the amount you pay as a financial assistance since they are losing the source of income of the family. In fact, even after marriage, many Thai girls continue to send a portion of their income to their parents as a token of respect.
Traditionally, sin sod was paid in the form of natural produce, but in its modern avatar, it has been replaced with money. While by no means compulsory, its pretty much present in every Thai marriage. Typically, the sin sod money is publicly displayed as part of the ceremony. This is often done in small denomination bills or in gold for a dramatic effect.
While this may seem crass or even distasteful, understand that this tradition plays a prominent role in Thai wedding ceremonies. In some modern Thai families, the sin sod may be returned to the couple in its entirety or in part, however, this is relatively rare.
If you are in strong disagreement with these customs and traditions, you can openly (yet politely) discuss these with your to be bride and her family. It would be best you take the help of a senior and respected Thai person with high social status while making you case with your in-laws. It is better to know their expectations and make appropriate arrangement.
Cultural differences are something you really cannot avoid. As overwhelming as they may be, it is better to accept them and work on them and they absolutely need not be barriers to a strong western man – Thai women relationship.
Prenuptial and other legal aspects
If you are an individual with significant assets, or are merely careful about your financial security for the future, you may find it beneficial to have a prenuptial agreement. A prenuptial agreement can be of great assistance in the event of a divorce. It can be an invaluable tool to assist you in dividing the marital assets in the event you and your wife decide to part ways.
In the absence of a prenuptial agreement, rights in a divorce court proceeding may be decided according to the prevailing law and at the discretion of a court judge. This may or may not be in your favor.
Because the laws regarding prenuptial vary by country you should seek help from a professional and skilled international lawyer competent in Thai law and the laws of your home country for the prenuptial agreement.
As far is Thai law is concerned (and as of 2016), a prenuptial agreement has to be officially registered in Thailand before the marriage. Failure to register the prenuptial with the government will result in it being considered null and void and will not be enforceable in the court of law. This is different from the law in many western countries where the prenuptial agreement is largely a private agreement between the two parties and is not registered with the government.
Where should I marry?
This decision might be more important than you think. There are couples who marry in Thailand and later on relocate to a foreign country, while others decide to marry in their home country. This distinction becomes significant in the event of a divorce. Where the marriage was registered will have an effect on which jurisdiction the divorce proceedings are heard. According to some lawyers, your assets will be better protected if your marriage and prenuptial agreement are registered in Thailand.
Would you relocate to your home country?
The visa that you have to apply for your Thai bride would be different depending on where you get married and the laws of your country. The visa rules vary widely by country, and you are advised to hire a skilled international lawyer competent in this matter.
You have to apply for K1 visa if you are taking her home and legally get married within a period of 90 days. If you are already married, K3 visa would be applicable. You have to file a family-based petition for that. Usually, the Thai bride will be issued a 2-year multiple-entry visa.
Irrespective of how and where you get married, you will be required to provide significant documentary evidence to establish a relationship between you and your Thai partner. Typically, this can be in the form of past phone conversations, email, photos of the couple together, etc.
You might also be required to provide proof of having physically met each other in the preceding years.
In most cases, you will also be required to provide proof that you will be able to support her financially in your country.
It is also required the both you and your to be wife are single and legally eligible for marriage.
It is best you consult a lawyer who specializes in international immigration to assist you in getting an appropriate visa for your Thai partner.
Create a loving family life with your Thai bride
Differences. You can spell it in capital letters if that would give you any solace but the fact is that differences are the biggest monster that you have to tame to make your marriage work. If you are married you know how the differences between a couple can drive wedges in the marriage. Be it cultural or lifestyle, differences can snuff the romance and make love take an exit from the back door. How do then couples in interracial marriages combat differences?
There are ways to make your interracial relationship with a Thai bride work. You need to be patient, listen to her, understand her and give her respect and love.
Experiment with life and your lifestyles. You may have to accommodate a few changes to suit her taste. Sit together and decide on issues like parenting, parent’s interference and religion. It is always better to reach a middle path than arguing and fighting later on.
You also need to lay down certain rules for the family to function properly. Like the money you would be spending on entertainment, monthly shopping and sending back to her home. Let me tell you one thing here, Thai brides love shopping. They may overuse your credit card when they go on a shopping spree. So, be wise with your money.
Your friends and relatives may not be nice to your Thai bride in the beginning. It is your responsibility to help them to accept her as a part of your life.
Parenting may become a problem if she tries to impose her culture on the kids. Make sure, to draw the line regarding this.
One thing is for sure when you marry a Thai woman. You would be treated like a real man. Your opinion, comfort, and happiness would be considered to be of top priority. Your Thai wife would do everything to ensure your material comfort. Your kids would learn to respect you; they would be well-behaved and understand the value of emotions. This is because a Thai bride always places more