Hi, everyone! I’m Muai, and I’m your average fun-loving Thai girl! I know you all may have different ideas about Thai women and who we really are, but that’s okay. There are a lot of ideas about girls from every nationality, not just Thai, so I’m here to just set the record straight and to give you all a peek about what we Thai girls are really like! It’s really important that people learn a lot about Thai girls and what we’re really like, and it’s not just because we’re into Girl Power or stuff like that. No, if anything, just like all of our countrymen, we believe in mutual understanding and harmony with everyone and everything. Misconceptions and false assumptions only foster misunderstanding and sometimes even conflict. We don’t want that, and honestly, I don’t think anyone does, right? We are patient to a fault and would love to let everyone know just who we really are. These are all essential parts of our Thai culture of tolerance and mutual understanding and harmony.
Don’t worry, just sit back, relax and read on(especially you Western guys out there!). Who knows? You might learn something and get to know us a lot better. When you see us in the proper light, as we really are, I am sure a lot of you are going to really fall in love with us! Sorry about that, just like any girl I tend to go a little overboard but that’s because I really believe in who I am, and how wonderful Thai women like myself really are. I have provided these articles with the intent of giving everyone out there a better understanding of Thai women and how we do things. Hopefully, the articles can also solve some nagging concerns you may have if you are in a relationship with a Thai lady. I truly believe that any problem in any relationship can be worked out with real honesty, genuine effort, and hard work. I still believe that in the end, true love will always triumph regardless of any problems or misunderstandings that may crop up because of culture, values, or anything else. In other words, these articles are a genuine labor of love from me to the world, and I hope that they can really make a difference! I really hope it enlightens you all out there and promotes better relationships while also showing everyone just how wonderful Thai women really are!
Thai Girls Talk: How to Have a Happy Relationship with a Thai Girl.
In this article, I would like to enumerate some common problems that Western men often have with Thai women. These problems often crop up for various reasons. The biggest reason is the vastly different culture of the West and Thailand. Western culture focuses a lot more on success and material gain. Thai culture, on the other hand, is more spiritually grounded and focuses more on religious values and inner development. Now, let me be very clear here. I am not saying that Thai culture is better than the Western culture. No, please don’t misunderstand me! Lifestyles are always a matter of personal choice and the rewards and/or consequences of such lifestyles will always vary from person to person. I am not espousing my own personal culture over any other. What I am saying is that two people from such different backgrounds could experience some tension and misunderstanding on a certain level. As with any problem, the general solution will always be to have compromise and use mutual understanding for each other’s benefit. In this regard, it is always up to the two people to work together for the shared goal of a happy relationship. With that in mind, here are some common problems that Western men and Thai women have encountered, along with some very practical solutions. The problems that follow, are fairly common, but you may be pleasantly surprised at some of the solutions. More often than not, a little common sense and a lot of love can go a long way.
The Problem: The Language Barrier:
This is probably the most common problem that Western men in a relationship with Thai women encounter. Let’s face it. A lot of Thai women are not very adept at speaking English. I don’t mean to demean anyone, I am just being honest. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this, but it can cause a lot of misunderstandings for very obvious reasons.
The Solution? Patience and understanding.
Be extra patient with your Thai girlfriend. Teach her some basic English, and when you see that she’s mastered that, go for more advanced phrases. If she is really having difficulty both of you should not feel ashamed to enroll her in English proficiency classes, if necessary. After all, language is very important and you’ll both benefit if you can both clearly speak and understand each other.
The key here is to show patience. Don’t rush her, and gently push her along. Give her words of encouragement. She will learn eventually. She may even surprise you and learn faster than you expect. The important thing is, you’re there for here and you help her improve. Once she sees this, she will easily become adept at English because she will be motivated by your love and support.
How about something even better? Enroll yourself to some Thai classes as well! Not only will you be able to start communicating much faster, you’ll also be able to better appreciate the effort she’s making into the relationship! So go ahead, and do you part. Trust me, nothing will impress her more than this, and you’ll be rewarded in multiple ways.
The Problem? Culture Clash!
Remember what I said about culture earlier? It can really be a big source of misunderstanding in the relationship. Just think about it. If the guy comes from New York where everyone is in a rush to get to work, and the girl is from Thailand, a country that values the elephant for its patience and quiet serenity even under stress well, I think you get the picture! Western culture is so different from Thai culture that it can sometimes be very jarring. The guy could always be in a rush for reasons the Thai girl doesn’t even understand. On the other hand, the Thai girl could be seen as too laid-back, or insensitive. Of course, these are all generalizations and assumptions borne from the dreaded culture clash!
The Solution? Get to know more about each other’s culture.
This solution is a lot easier than it sounds. With the advent of the internet, you can get a whole lot of information about the different cultures of different people around the planet. If you’re a Western guy and you’re reading this, you have already taken a big first step in understanding your significant Thai other. The same goes for the Thai ladies! A little knowledge goes a long way in understanding different cultures and paving the way for a better understanding from both parties. Just be sure not to go to fake news websites, trolls, or the other negative stuff that also abounds in the net. They can spread more misconceptions and lies, so it’s best to avoid them.
The Problem? Vastly different family backgrounds.
Now here is a really challenging problem! Both parties could find themselves very surprised and shocked with the other’s family. You see, Western guys were raised in a much different family background from Thai girls. Sometimes the difference can be so stark like night and day, or oil and water. It can be that different.
Western guys are generally raised in a much more liberal and lax environment. As boys, Western guys were often encouraged to play rough, discover a lot of things, and well, just be boys! Couple that with all the information available to them, and you will have a very well-educated, outspoken, and often very liberal man with strong views on a lot of topics.
Thai girls, on the other hand, are raised in a much more sheltered and protective environment. Thai girls are often raised to be soft-spoken, patient, and submissive. They have also been taught many Buddhist values that are often very different from what Western men know(more on that later!). The result is often very mild-mannered, sensitive and shy Thai girls.
The solution? Compromise and acceptance.
You both can’t change each other, and that would not be a good thing anyway. As a Thai girl would you really want your man to be more submissive, and less noisy? That could result in a man who would have trouble defending your honor and being responsible. As a Western man, would you really want your girl to get out of her shell more? Isn’t there a lot to be said about a woman whom you know will quietly stand beside you through thick and thin? Would you really want her to change that part of her, that is distinctly hers?
You both must learn to compromise and accept each other for what you are. See the good that your differences bring to the relationship instead of conforming to each other. This can sometimes be difficult, but if you achieve this, the relationship will prosper like a flower in bloom.
The Problem? The Thai Belief System.
There is nothing wrong with the Thai belief system at all. I have been raised a Buddhist all my life, and I believe in harmony, doing good to others, and the 4 divine truths of Budha. I have completely embraced all of this. The problem is, some Western men who have been raised in a completely different culture may find the focus on religion in Thailand, a little too much. Some Western men have been so used to being independent from religion that they may find Buddhism and its prominence in Thai culture a little strange. Some of them may find a lot of things in Thai culture quite strange, and many of them are not even religious. They may find our love for our King as a father figure of sorts strange. They may also not understand the value of charity to monks and donations to the church. This will all seem strange to Westerners because they have learned to be self-reliant and any form of charity to them may seem like a dole-out. They may also not be used to looking up to a government official as a father-figure. Just look at all the scandals that have rocked their government throughout history, including the recent tumultuous and controversial US elections. Westerners are a lot more suspicious of authority figures and may not understand why Thais look up to their king and what he represents.
The solution? Cultural Sensitivity.
Both parties should exercise cultural sensitivity here. Although some of the belief systems and customs may seem strange, it is best to just try to understand them. For Westerners especially, it is best not to tease, or make fun of Thai customs and beliefs. Thai girls are generally very warm, compassionate, and understanding. However, many of them will definitely take offense if their culture is belittled or mocked in any way. It’s best that Western men understand this, to avoid any unnecessary conflicts with
Thai women. It’s easy for them to overlook this fact, or not be aware of it, again because of the vast difference in culture. Just think of all the late-night talk shows that abound in US television and you will have an idea of just how different the cultures are. In these talk-shows, it is not uncommon to poke fun at many popular celebrities and public officials, and many of them take it in stride and even laugh along. When a Western man will make fun of something, he usually will not mean anything by it, because their culture is very lenient with such joviality. However, it is much different in Thailand. This kind of behavior could even be unimaginable to a lot of us, so it’s best that the Western man just be a little more sensitive to the Thai woman’s customs.
The Problem? Jealousy.
This is a universal problem that all couples will probably face at one time or another. Let’s face it. Jealousy rears its ugly head a lot more often than not, and it is never pleasant. For the Thai woman, jealousy can appear a lot and when the Western man least expects it. You see, for a lot of us Thai girls, just hanging out with a female friend is a red flag. Many Thai girls will immediately assume the worst if a Western man is just having some drinks or chatting with another girl. This can again lead to a lot of conflicts, as to the Western man, chatting and hanging out are nothing special. For him, there really is no problem and he does not mean any malice or have any cruel intentions. For the Western man, it’s usually just what it is. Hanging out.
The Solution? Long Open Talks and Reassurance.
In this situation, it is probably best to use one of the most proven and tested tools for a better relationship. A long and open talk about the subject. It is best that you be open with your man about your fears, and perhaps your own biases. Be honest. Tell him that you do feel very strongly about him chatting with other women. While you do this, you must also be open enough to acknowledge what it really is. It is a feeling and just that. It’s jealousy. All feelings are just feelings until real facts back them up. Because of this, feelings are naturally irrational, and on their own, must really be understood and not immediately acted upon. You have to understand that no matter how you may think of the worst, or paint the bleakest picture in your mind, nothing is really certain. Your jealousy is not a reliable gauge of what is really happening. It could, or could not be a sign of something worse. Despite that, however, it is a very strong feeling, and you have every right to feel it. Your Western man must understand this, and from there he can begin to give you what you really want. Reassurance.
All women regardless of race or nationality demand a lot of reassurance. Girls can be quite insecure sometimes. I guess it’s just how we are wired, the same way men are also wired with their own set of undesirable traits. As a Western man, if you want to set your Thai girl at ease, just acknowledge what she feels and be honest. Tell her straight from the heart what she really means to you. Don’t sweet-talk her, because true love is just what it is. Love. Love is love and not flattery. Your true feelings will show without fancy words. Tell her what she means to you, and those other girls are just other girls who as human beings have the right to at least share a conversation with you. Show her what she really means to you, and she should warm up and a good mutual understanding can be reached. And of course, don’t break her trust! Never, under any circumstances flirt, or cheat when you’ve told your Thai girlfriend that you’re just talking with another girl. I think it’s clear that if that happens, that’s another, tougher problem altogether.
The Problem: Different Lifestyles.
This could prove to be the most difficult challenge with Western men and Thai women. Different cultures could culminate in completely different lifestyles. The Western man could be more open to having a lot more parties than the Thai woman. The Western man could perhaps be a lot more open to having sex while the Thai woman might not be too comfortable with intercourse so soon. These are only a few examples to illustrate the point, but different lifestyles can really pose the biggest challenge because differences can sometimes be very hard to smooth out. Remember, there’s a reason why many marriages end with the legal term ‘irreconcilable differences.’
The Solution? A Mix of Everything!
Okay, okay! I know that it may sound strange but it is true! You see, with a problem like this, there’s really no one specific solution that can solve it. There’s no magic bullet that can slay every monster and it will really be on a case-to-case basis. What you can do is follow some basic guidelines to make the problem clearer and work for a solution that both of you will agree on.
It’s good to have a long talk with your partner. Don’t underestimate the power of a long and honest conversation. If you do this right, both of your concerns and your lifestyles will be barred open for both of you. Being honest with each other will help you see where you are different, and compromise accordingly.
Don’t ever try to change the other person. Remember that we are all different and our lifestyles are our individual rights and it’s up to us to live by them. No matter how different you both are, changing another to suit the other’s lifestyle is never the answer. It may work at first if the other partner is submissive enough, but eventually, it will only foster discontent and at worst resentments. Left simmering and unresolved, these can easily lead to the worst.
Finally, don’t lose hope. I know it may be very difficult if you are both very different but remember that it is very much possible to make it work out. In this modern era of tolerance and mutual respect, there are many real-life examples of couples of radically different religious beliefs and cultural backgrounds who have made it work. Mark Zuckerberg, the founder of Facebook has openly admitted to having religious conflicts within himself before settling with his traditional religious background. He is married to a practicing Buddhist, and their religious and cultural differences are very different. Yet they have worked it out and are very happily married. There are many such examples of this everywhere. You just have to look.
I do hope that you are very happy with your Western man, or Thai woman. I do hope that you both find happiness and that this has been a big help for you. Always remember that mutual respect, compromise, and understanding will always lead the way to better relationships regardless of your individual backgrounds.