Being a local in one of the ‘must-visit-country’ and spending my whole life is the city ranked in the first of the top travel destination (by beating London and Paris), I have always had more than a thousand chances to meet so many foreigners. We would walk pass by each other, or if we’re lucky enough, we might have had a chance to talk to random people asking for directions or meeting at a good bar. But of course, how I meet foreigners is not only limited to a real-life situation. Social media did not begin with Facebook and Twitter, obviously. Back in the good old days, I used MySpace. Most of us used it. Most MySpace users are from the U.S., and that was precisely where I got to know many online friends.
What I learnt from being in Western circle is how independent they can be. When I was 17, my dad would still give me a ride to school every day. I would ask for his money to live my life each day. But at 17, my friends from the west were already working as a part-timer and socializing while doing activities they had an interest in. They also earn their own money to spend their lives with so much pleasure, including traveling here! It was like a whole new world to me. It was totally enlightening; while Thai culture encourages parents to pamper their children even until college – Western culture already teaches them to live a life. And this kind of fundamental difference in upbringing creates a huge gap in differences between two cultures. I must say, I am always impressed by how reliable Western guys are. It is no longer a surprise that if I have a plan to make with them, their gentleman behavior will either guide me naturally or follow me without making himself much of a beta type. He would still feel like an alpha even when he takes on a follower role.
But when I look back at Thai guys – it is different. Recently, it has become a set trend for couples that a girl will lead the relationship. She will be responsible for his income, managing his daily expenses, taking control of his time each day, and it goes on. Honestly, I used to like this kind of idea. I always fancied having a guy liked Por Ban Jai Gla (brave househusband). I mean, who would say no to having a guy follow me around, listening to everything I say and using allowance allocated by me? But it was until the point where I actually had this kind of relationship, then I realized: “Damn. This is far from what I wanted.” What I have been looking for is actually someone who can lead me with experiences, ha an intelligent conversation, follow me with trust, and more than obvious, love me with his heart. I desire a relationship that consists of two grown-up individuals. Not just a one sided thing. And that is when I realized how Western guys can actually answer my needs without them even realizing it.
I am not saying that Thai guys are inferior compared to Western guys. Nor do I intend to belittle them in any way. It is just really about a different mindset that makes their charm work differently. Being with Western guys give me a feeling like I am always home. And even with quite a distance between us, that wasn’t even our concern. We know we got our own things, and our own lives to live. And we respect each other that way. With Thai guys; distance can become a huge factor in a relationship. They cannot handle long distance relationship distance well. It is probably our culture thing that makes us so dependent on others. In the collectivist society, we rely on them to make ourselves feel secure. And I feel that that is not right for me because we should always feel good about our own space first before finding others to fill the hole. Because when you do not realize what you are lacking, even with a hundred partners can still never satisfy you. We need our resolve before anything else. That’s why I don’t look for someone to complete me but I seek for someone who will provide me a surplus of joy and happiness so that we don’t feel any lacks in our love life.
And that is basically what Western culture has taught me.
No offense to Thai guys (because I have known a lot of Thai guys and they are quite nice), but I feel that I prefer western men and these are some of the reasons why I personally feel that western men can be an ideal husband which can be perfect for anyone who look for healthy and stable relationships.
So let’s get to the points!
1. His body got me like ooh-la-la!
I always say that being sweaty is sexy! When I stalk browse through a lot of foreigners’ Instagram accounts, who is going to deny a muscular body with a little sweat on? Nope, not me, never ever. It’s all that or nothing! This is another thing I like about Western guys. They tend to exercise a lot. I know it is still not a huge majority in the society, but it is still something I see most of the times. How can I resist someone who takes care of their own fitness? Like, really? There is just so much chemistry going on when we look at each other when you’re just done working out. I can almost feel all the hormones rushing through your body! Well, it is not like mine won’t rush or anything. I am just literally melting the moment I laid eyes on that bod. Gotta love ‘em!
2. He has that classy style.
“You got that James Dean daydream look in your eye”…
Because Taylor Swift who can get so many guys says that we never go out of style, I find that Western men can look so crisp and dapper that can make me swoon. Look at the clean haircut, the beard, the suit and tie, the simple T-shirt and jeans, or even the tracksuit in the gym which compliments his insane physique. This is something I would find problematic when it comes down to how Thai guys express themselves: they don’t know themselves and the outfits which can make him look outstanding from the crowd. Look at the street style of Western men, you can see that they generally have better taste in fashion with effortless charm. They look like that triple A class from head to toes and they are the real head-turner. Of course, when he walks pass me, I’ll definitely give him a 9 out of 10. Where’s the other 1 missing? That’s for his fragrance to fill.
3. He knows what he wants
The top factor as why I like Western men a lot is because they know themselves well. They know who they are, understand what they can be, and know exactly what they want in life. Being with someone who knows what he wants to do with his life is really a sight to see. He will be ambitious and craving for results more than anybody else. He will be daring to take on any kind of situation because he knows experiences only make you grow strong. He will be adventurous, much like wanderlust, and he’s got stories to tell like nobody else could do. He will be a total charmer. This kind of guys got my knees weak. And I will only flop down just because I know he will always catch me. This right here is exactly why I like Western men so much.
4. He knows how to talk
Thai guys may shower you with sweet talk, asking you what you are doing all the time to show that they really pay attention for you. However, have you ever wondered how long it lasts? After the “promotional period”, you can see that your man may not do the same thing, or even mock you badly. Even worse, these sweet words from your man are not only limited for you but they are also for everyone and anyone. Therefore, you may not feel surprised at all when many women complain that Thai guys always ‘talk the talk’ but not really ‘walk the walk’. On the other hand, a western man may not always uselessly compliment you with all the nice words, but when he says something, ne really mean it. Trust me, if he tells you that today you look beautiful, you should be proud of yourself as a girl beside him because you are, indeed, beautiful.
Moreover, he knows how to tackle problems and give you good solutions. On a very bad day you may feel bad from things around you, however, if you ask your man, he will be able to come up with good answers or at least some kind of consolation to make you feel better because he will show you how he love you and understand you through his wise words. Sometimes, some words may not be nice to you because you know that truth is sometimes inconvenient, right? However, honesty is the best way for you to find out what to do next and this is how a western man strategically encourages you to become a better person through his way of talking. Definitely a keeper!
5. He has goals
As I mentioned earlier, I like guys who are ambitious. Yes, I can’t deny that I enjoy wasting my life day by day sometime. Sometimes I have to admit that I want to sleep all day and do nothing at all. But if a serious relationship is what I am looking for, I can’t live a life like that. I need to be productive. And I will need someone as serious as I am, to strive and to work hard towards a future we have yet to see. I always find that a man who has clear goals is always sexy because he knows himself very well and he will inspire you to be a better version of yourself. If you want more than just a fling and nonsense infatuation, this man can be a perfect choice for you.
6. He is independent.
There is a difference between being in a relationship and being under a relationship! Have you ever been fed with up a guy who keeps asking you where you are or calling you and using applications to track down where you are? I guess these guys who cling to you can be really boring as I believe any kinds of relationship should provide personal space for each other to breathe and be themselves. From my experience, a lot of Thai guys do not feel that way because they feel like you are their possession and they want to keep you around with the full power of jealousy. Therefore, you may feel that you never feel comfortable with your own skin as who you are but you need to play along your boyfriend’s game to maintain stable relationship. However, dating a Western man is different because he will understand and respect who you are. Being independent is sexy because learning to respect people’ privacy is the key for successful relationship. He will leave you to stay true to yourself and have your own personal space to breathe. And of course, he will not cling to you because he knows his goals and ambitions and he will strive for that so he has no time for asking you where you are or who you go out with.
Furthermore, apart from his working time, he’s got no time to waste because he will spend time in the gym (#chestday!). He will stop at nothing to improve himself. Aside from spending time with me, he obviously manages his time well enough to spend it on hobbies and things he’s interested in. Do you know that western guys cook more dishes than i do? Let’s skip the fact that I can barely cook sunny-sided-up eggs without burning it here and there. But damn. These western guys just look to cook, especially for their family and their woman. So yeah, this quality can be really fascinating.
7. Better paycheck = better lifestyle
Generally, Western men tend to work hard and strive for career perfection so they can earn higher salary. They tend to work in prestigious companies such as financial or international organization so they tend to provide you a good paycheck. Alternatively, if they decide to be their own boss, they can launch their start-up business and the next day they can get a huge sum of income based on their little project created through their iPad in the kitchen at home! Despite the fact that living cost abroad is high as hell, if he’s mature and responsible to his work enough, managing his own fund is just a piece of cake. If he were to stay in Thailand, with that amount of income and savings, he sure can live comfortably here. It wouldn’t be exaggerating to say that it could reach to the level of living luxurious. Nobody can deny the fact that everybody just wants to live comfortably without worrying so much about their expenses. I, too, wish to have a lifestyle like that. Having a husband who can support my wants when needed is priceless. I can work day to day to gain income for both of us just fine. But what if we can own a business together, with your savings and mine combined? Wouldn’t our life already sound much more like a couple now? This is why I’m saying a better paycheck actually helps a lot. I’m not planning to leech you off, don’t worry! I just want someone who will be ambitious about his life, career, goals, and our relationship enough to be able to own something together without struggling so much financially. When we have kids, their education is guaranteed to be nothing but the best source because we can financially support them. That’s the kind of life I’m talking about.
8. He is a family man.
Although he will spend time working in the office, it doesn’t mean that he will forget family life! A true gentleman will manage to run the work outside and inside his home. Typically in a daily life, western man will help other family members, including you, from laundry to cooking, cutting grass to walking a dog. Moreover, western cultures encourage a family reunion on every holiday like Thanksgiving and Christmas. These festivals are the time when they’d help each other out, from cooking turkey to exchanging gifts. It is the most wonderful time of the year (no pun intended)! When you see him with his family in the reunion, one does not resist those blue eyes looking at his family members like his sisters so tenderly and this shows that he loves his little sister to bits! Seeing what he behaves in his family reunion, you can imagine how he can be a good husband and a good father when he has to arrange his own family reunion with you and your children in the years to come.
9. He can teach a new language and culture
When you date a guy, you will already learn how to communicate with him in the love language (and also body language through any signs of seduction!). However, when it comes to the real speaking language which helps you communication with each other, they say the best way to learn any language and culture is to date a man who speaks that language. Personally, I find it true when you need to communicate and express your love to your man and that’s how you can use language to stay connected with your man and maintain your stable relationship. That is what I call, survival skill!
Furthermore, dating a western man will open you up to a new cultural perspective when you can learn so many new and different things from Thai culture. You can learn traditions, values, beliefs and so many things which can enhance your world knowledge and experience. Time to learn new stuff through your love baby!
10. He will travel the world with you
Dating a western guy means that you will have the opportunity to travel to somewhere outside your house (at least he should miss his home right?). So, in this case, you will be able to have a good and memorable journey with your man because you will learn both language and culture through the journey. You will be able to swim in the ocean, climb the mountain, ski through snow slope, or take a stroll along the old city to relax. Besides, if your man is a jet-setter or just someone who loves to travel, you will have a once in a lifetime experience which cannot be found in someone else. Look at your pictures on your Instagram accounts with so many geographical tags such as England, America, Germany, Egypt, Greece and so on, I’m so sure that your followers, including your friends, will be jealous of you when they see you sunbathing at St. Tropez, sipping a martini at the bar in Monte Carlo, or taking photos of yourself with the aurora light in Iceland. You can fly to anywhere you want because your man will provide you such a fantastic opportunity like this and you know you will never ever find this from anyone else but him!
11. Leadership skills!
Many times we girls already have so much on our hands. Our day job, shopping, groceries, cooking for the family, doing the laundry, etc. Some women even go a step further and provide a paycheck for their families as well! With all these tasks and priorities, we girls often need a helping hand in the family. We expect this help to come from our husbands of course, and expect them to shoulder some of the responsibilities being the head of the family and the relationship. While is not necessarily a bad thing, we sometimes feel more of the weight of difficult obstacles from our everyday lives on our shoulders. Fortunately, most Western men are raised in an environment where they are taught to take opportunities by the neck and to stop at nothing when it comes to reaching their goals. This kind of environment creates powerful leaders and powerful leaders impress many Thailand girls (including me) very, very much. There’s nothing better than the feeling of security you get from having a boyfriend that you know has your back when it comes to handling the challenges of everyday life. Even simple things such as lending a helping hand with the household chores mean a lot to us.
12. The nature of being mature
Western guys know this very, very well. From the day most Western men were born from their mothers’ wombs to the day they grew to be responsible and well-raised adults, they have always been given numerous responsibilities which in turn, had given them the emotional and mental stability needed to be mature. Thai men, on the other hand, are influenced heavily by Chinese practices and a common practice in Chinese families is to spoil the male children and treat them like royalty because the males are viewed as the “heirs” to a family’s wealth and legacy. This is practiced by many Thai families and in turn create men who do not have the maturity to cope with everyday life, let alone a relationship with another person. The odds of us Thai girls meeting a responsible and mature boyfriend are much higher if we look for a Western man rather than search for a Thai spouse. In my view, western men can adapt much more easily to difficult obstacles when compared to most Thai men and can provide well thought out solutions to many challenges you and your man will face in the game of life.
13. John Smith likes to work hard
John Smith is usually the name given when referring to an “average” Western man, and boy, do Western men work hard! We’ve seen it in TV shows and heard from our parents. We’ve seen programs of Western men running around in a building rushing from one office to the other just to get their work done for the day. Western men work so hard that they’re usually known for their perseverance and the pride they take in what they do! Most Thai men unfortunately, do not know how to work hard to achieve what they want in their lives. Because of how Thai men are raised in their families, they usually expect everything to come served to them on a silver platter. You will seldom find a lazy Western boyfriend, believe me. Just ask any Thai girl who’s ever dated a Western guy and they’ll tell you!
14. Treats me with dignity, respect and kindness
The practice of treating a female person “like a lady” originated in the Western world and with good reason too. They know how to treat their women. Little gestures that go a long way for us like kissing our hands and letting us go first is second nature for Western men. Thai men also know how to act well in front of their woman but only in the first stages of the relationship. They soon lose the sweetness they once had after the first few years. Fortunately, Western men know how to keep the flame burning and this is a very attractive trait that Westerners always seem to have.
Respect is a strong word that gets thrown around many times but is seldom done through action. Many Thai men claim to respect and love their women but unfortunately, many of these same men tend to act aggressively against their spouses, sometimes even hitting them physically. This kind of behavior is not tolerated in the Western world and Westerners are often raised to respect their spouses no matter what argument they might have in the future. Wouldn’t it be great to know that your boyfriend won’t ever lay a finger on you no matter what happens and no matter how high tensions may get in a fight between the two of you? You’ll most likely get that feeling if you date a Western guy.
15. Opposites do attract
Western men are used to seeing large, blonde women in their homeland. Us Thai girls are used to seeing dark haired, brown eyed, skinny men in Thailand. The moment we lay our eyes on a Western guy, we get attracted almost immediately. Why is that? It’s because opposites attract! Since we’re usually so used to seeing Thai guys, we see the handsomeness in Western men and Western guys see the beauty in us. They’re tired of dating larger women and are searching for girls who are skinnier and have dark hair and eyes. Thai girls and Western guys are a perfect match because of the physical traits that both parties are looking for.
16. Closed eyes and open minds
Thai men are usually much more closed minded compared to Western men because of how they were raised. Thai men were exposed to less hardship and responsibilities and have a lot of difficulty coping with challenges upon reaching a higher age. Western guys, on the other hand have been faced with difficult situations both social and emotional which makes them much more open to a wide number of topics that you couldn’t talk about with a Thai guy. I’ve had a lot of conversations with both Thai guys and Western guys alike and let me tell you; it’s a real treat talking with Western men, that’s for sure! There’s never really a single awkward moment with them and they’re always ready to offer a helping hand when you need it. And since Western guys are more mature than Thai guys, they tend to be much calmer under pressure and are more likely to give you good advice when you’re faced with a big obstacle in your life. A boyfriend who’s sweet, handsome, mature and smart? Count me in!
17. Violence is not the last resort, its not even an option
Hitting your woman is a big, big no-no in the eyes of Western guys. Hitting a woman in the Western world is something that’s looked down upon by every person that lives there. Men who hit women there are usually viewed as psychos and complete jerks who are unfit to deal with normal people. And while we girls know in our hearts that we’d never do anything to harm the man we love in our life, do our better halves feel the same about us? Fortunately, I know for a fact that Western men do feel the same thing.
18. A new movie, a new boyfriend, a new view on life
Seeing the same thing over and over again can get very tiring. Just imagine watching the same movie again and again for the rest of your life! That would be lame, wouldn’t it? Luckily, Westerners are an open book just waiting to be read, as their culture and the way they live their lives fascinate us Thai girls because of how different they are from the Thai men that we’re so used to seeing. Their independent nature puts us in awe because it’s something we’re definitely not used to seeing in our own country. These things make Western men so fascinating, not just to date but to talk and bond with as well. Talking with a Western guy and hearing him tell stories about the life outside of Thailand is like a watching an exotic, action-packed film you’ve never seen before. And girl, let me tell you that you’re gonna love every single moment of it. Guaranteed.
The final words…
I believe that these certain characteristics can be found in many guys, no matter where they live, including men from my own country. However, and even at the risk of making it sound stereotypical, I’d say I generally find that western guys are more than likely have these characteristics in common. Well, at least a majority of these characteristics anyway. If all the Thai guys have these ten features, I believe that they can be a valuable item for all the ladies to fight for as our market is getting more competitive nowadays. However, if you are fed up with Thai guys who lack all of these things, finding western men can be a great alternative because you will open yourself up to the new situations with someone who can be totally different for you and this experience can be really fascinating. However, relationship is not something easy. If you want to have a healthy relationship with a western guy, you should also prepare and improve yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. The reason behind this is so simple: if you want something valuable, you have to work hard for it to make sure that you are worth getting the guy who can be someone to die for. I believe in love and destiny but you have to invest yourself in order to catch a good fish among the other girls in the sea through many different dating scenes. If you love yourself and try to be a better version of you before going out and finding some guy, I truly believe that confidence and self-esteem will shine through and this can attract someone to become a good partner. So good luck with your love, ladies!