Through the Thai Girls Talk series, we bring to you first hand, the views of real Thai women on various topics. Some topics may be repeated across the blog to bring about differing views on the same topic. Some content may have been edited for clarity or translated from Thai
Going out for a date – that sounds pretty norm, isn’t it? We do it so naturally throughout our entire life. You might not even realize it, but there could be times when you thought you were just going out with your female peer casually. You thought it was just a friendly hangout. Turned out, you were being evaluated on the spot! She was looking at how you dress, how stylish is your hair, whether the color of your clothes and shoes match at all, or did you shave your beard before leaving your house. Unfortunately, that’s just a start.
The list girls have in mind could go on forever. You can say that they’re being picky, but who’s to blame? We all want to be impressed, as much as we want to impress others. I could be wearing her dress-to-kill, and you wouldn’t even realize it! It’s time to step up your game. The first impression is crucial. You cannot miss or ruin it. It’s like an imaginary court a girl has in her head to see if there’s going to be a second date at all. And when it comes to Thai girls, trust me; they can be very detailed on how you approach them.
With culture differences, you might want to be more mindful in order to not offend them. Obviously, I’m not telling you to be so paranoid with even a step closer to me. What you need to do is simply to approach like a man with class. Impress me with your charming smile and positive vibe. I mean, who hates people with positive vibe anyway?
Thai girls can be sensitive. And I mean, very sensitive. With differences in culture, I might not understand why you are hugging that hot chick – who’s your BFF – when you meet her. The possibility of me misinterpreting things is rather high, I’d say. But if you have decided to go down this road, it’s something you will need to explain. I also need to understand your culture, while you will adjust accordingly. This might prove to be a challenge. But leave that ‘impossible’ thoughts out of your mind, and move forward. You like this little Asian girl. And there’s no stopping you now.
There might be a situation where I invite my friend along. Why? Simple; because it’s either I’m shy around you or just want to feel more secure on our first meeting. You don’t have to worry about this at all since it’s a good opportunity to get to know my friend. Make her your ally! Show us what you are capable of in a relationship, and that you will treat my friend like she’s your friend too. Trust me that with a friend’s support, your impression scores will just keep rising!
Don’t go overthinking ye – some things are just so basic you might be wondering why I’m telling you this. But aren’t most basic rules overlooked sometimes? We just feel so natural about them, until we ignore their principles. That’s not how we’re going to do it, buddy. We’re going in style, and I won’t even want to wait for a second date with you!
Dress to impress
The most obvious tactic ever exists in human history. Of course, it’s how you dress up. People are attracted to your appearance at first look. Be it your hair, your shirt, your watch, or even your shoes. Nope, we’re not talking about brand names here. Although, let’s not deny the fact that those luxurious outlooks could really make a great impression. But it’s not an absolute necessity. You can look good without showering your whole body with brand names. You just need to know what suits you the most, and when is the best time for each outfit in the closet.
Let’s say we’re going on a date with, and I’m a beautiful Thai lady with a great smile that just adds up to my charm. 10 points out of 10, no less. You let me decide a place, just like a perfect gentleman. And my final decision is a movie date, and end with a rooftop bar on Sukhumvit road. Now, let’s break down the situation and see how we should appear in front of me on that starry night. Hopefully, starry.
It’s our first time meeting each other. So far, you might have only seen my photos. Or at best, a video calling with me. One thing you will need to make sure: your appearance in person and in photos is not too much of a stranger. Nope, I’m not even kidding here. There’s always news or jokes about an online couple meeting for the first time in real life, and they turn out looking nothing like what they promised on their social media profile. We don’t want our situation to be as awkward as that. It’s always a good idea to not post photos that are overly edited. A little bit is enough. Keep it to the minimum. Make it 95% be you, and the rest goes to some effects to make your skin looks better.
But let’s not forget to take care of your skin. There is no denying that everybody likes a healthy looking person. And the better you care for yourself, the better it shows to the other party that you don’t neglect your health at all. And I mean, I love guys who take care of their own skin. It’s so soothing to look at.
A movie date – sounds typical enough. But never underestimate it. This will be the first time we actually spend time alone in a not-so-public-but-still-not-private-enough place. Read the tickets carefully; which theater is it, what time should we go in, and what are the numbers of our seats.
I picked a rooftop bar, on Sukhumvit road, no less. Why is that a big deal, you may ask. Well, Sukhumvit area is supposedly full of Thailand’s high-end malls and residences. It’s a street where most foreign bars and restaurants run their business. To put it simply, Sukhumvit is rich. And when it comes to rooftop bars around there, you’d expect people to dress well. One might even dress formally just to sip a glass of martini while embracing the cool breeze that blows through top floor buildings.
Hold up, put down your tux. We’re not going to go that far. Pick out clothes that you feel most confident on. But that confidence should be universal, though. Make it casually formal. Something when I see it, I feel relaxed and charmed at the same time. Be considerate of the kind of place you’re going to. Wear them on. Double check in the mirror. And never forget; put on a smile.
Be punctual. Always.
Impression could come easier than anticipated. Who wouldn’t love the thought of someone is already there, waiting for them? Imagine what you could do with 5-10 minutes early at a place you would be meeting me. If you haven’t done your research on what is the best menu in this restaurant, now is the perfect time to do so.
Reserve seats for us, and ask waiters for their recommend dishes. Better yet, if you could place an order before I arrive – so it’ll be ready just in time – that would be great as well. Although, not necessary if we cannot predict the time I’ll be arriving. You wouldn’t want all these extraordinary dishes to turn cold before the princess arrive, would you?
And just like going to work, being punctual can show your enthusiasm and self-responsibility very well. In this case, I will be able to feel how eager you are for this first date. It might just leave me excited on what you could be offering for this relationship. You will never know!
You know, as much as you’d love girls that smell nice, they would love the same from you too. If you’re not allergic to perfume or cologne; I strongly advise you to put a little bit of it on. That faint smell of cologne from a man’s body is irresistible. Try asking me to repeat what I was saying again and move a bit closer. I guarantee that the right scent will leave me be closer to you. A Scent is something people tend to get used to easily. We memorize it along with a person who has the specific scent. This is a great way to make me remember you, and moments we both share on our first date!
How sweet would it be if you could be all that’s on my mind when she goes home? Every time I smell this familiar scent you put on, and it’s your face she thinks of instantly. Trust me; it’s that hard to shake it off. A carefully chosen scent will definitely reward you. And by ‘carefully chosen’ – I mean picking out a unique scent which represents who you are best. Don’t go with popular fragrances. Since it’s so popular, who knows if any guys I have dated before might have used it? You don’t want to risk reminding me of that guy I wish I never remember again.
Eyes to eyes
When you engage a conversation with me, always remember: keep your eyes on me. This shows how much interest you put into listening to what I have to say. You’ll never know what topic I’m most excited to talk about. It could be a story about my dramatic co-worker, how my dogs got out of the cage by themselves this morning, my plans for holidays in the next couple of months, or it could just be how I drew my brows perfectly before I left the house to meet you today. Anything is possible, so keep your interest mode ‘On’. Share some laughter with me; make me feel like whatever I was talking about just made you feel so close to me now.
There’s a saying that “Eyes are the windows to the soul.” You can tell a lot about a person if you look closely into their eyes. Look at me like I’m the best thing that could have ever happened to you right now. Well, I am supposed to be, aren’t I? Oh, did I mention that complimenting my eyes is also one of the most basic tricks, yet effective as well?
Aside from being a good listener, it’s also important for you to initiate an effective conversation. When they say ‘A good conversation is key to successful business’ – well, alternatively, it leads to successful first date as well. The First date is all about getting comfortable with each other. Show me a side you’d want me to know – share what interests you, what do you like to do on weekends, your activity after work each day, and the list goes on.
It’s also a smart move to pick a topic up from what I was telling you earlier to support my interest. Don’t forget to compliment how beautiful I look in that dress. Make me feel confident that I made a right choice coming out on a date with you; because you know exactly just what to say! Create that connection between both of us.
English is our second language. But in some case, we might not understand English at all. Like, you could be speaking something, and 98% of what you were saying just sounded so alien to us. But we’ll just nod like we actually understand you anyway. What you can do to help us communicate with you better is to speak slowly, and clearly.
It’s also a good idea to keep a dictionary application installed on your phone. You’ll be surprised just how handy it becomes! Thais tend to get embarrassed easily when trying to speak English. Help them boost their confidence by encouraging them to speak English while complimenting their effort. You could easily use this opportunity to ask me to teach you Thai in exchange of you teaching me English!
Don’t pressure me with questions – personal questions too much. Instead, why not come up with things you might have experienced before? It could be that one time you went hiking, and your ankle was injured. What about your business plans? You don’t have to get into much detail, but just tell me briefly about what you have in mind. Show me how ambitious you are with your work. Hmm, that never gets old.
Always keep in mind that – if you’re looking for a serious relationship, make sure I know it. You’ll find out soon enough if I’m looking for the same thing, but you have to prove it to me first that you’re not here to play. It’s either the ring on my finger, or you wouldn’t be here in the first place. Convince me with reasons why you’re a good candidate. But don’t make it so serious. Keep it casual, look into my eyes, and tell me that you’re the real deal.
Approach me with the right attitude; calm and collected. If you happen to disagree with my ideas, don’t reject them flat out. Simply share your thoughts on a different perspective, but let me know that you also respect my thoughts on this. It’s important that you don’t keep buttering me up even when you disagree. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion, and you shouldn’t lose your ideas while trying to win my heart.
Remember that; in a relationship, you’re bound to run into problems or incompatibilities between two souls. It’s normal and expected. While it’s good to take a step down from time to time, so you can solve the issue. But stay you. Be you, but more flexible and accepting. Don’t give me the impression that I can control your attitude. That’s what likely going to ruin your relationship. Teach me to adapt. Find a middle ground between us, so we can still walk side by side.
Nuh-uh. Don’t get too touchy!
Gentlemen, I’d like to introduce you to Thai culture, where body language is something that is totally different from Western culture. As much as Thais usually understand these differences – it’d be thoughtful of you to behave accordingly to their culture as well. Hugging with someone you barely know if something Thai culture doesn’t encourage. You ought to know a person to certain levels, and then more intimate body languages will be considered appropriate.
It’s okay to put your hand on my shoulder from time to time when you’re talking or laughing. When I’m talking about something emotional, placing your hand above mine is also okay – like, yes, please. It just looks so sweet and considerate. As much as you might be appreciating my legs, keep those hands to yourself!
Now the tricky part lies in the moment when we’re parting. Do we hug? Or shake hands will do? Well, why not just ask me politely if you could hug to say goodbye? Give me choices I can make. And be respectful to whatever I decide. That’s what a real gentleman who deserves a second date is all about!
First date sex might be something you’re not too much of a stranger, but to Thais, that’s rather foreign. When looking for a serious relationship, engaging in sexual activity on the first date is less likely to happen in Thailand. They will carefully take the time to study you and your intentions. And remember; this is our first time meeting each other!
With that being said, it’s also true some girls might not mind having first date sex at all. But is it really a good idea to do it after all? Simple; take hints from how she was with you the entire date. And if she invites you to her room for whatever reason, that’s already a big OK sign. Why? Because inviting a guy you have only met for the first time to your room is not common in Thai culture. How you are going to take it from here, it’s entirely up to you.
Treat me to dinner
This obviously goes without saying. You ask me out, it’s only appropriate if you’re going to treat a meal. But what happens if I insist on sharing? Well, doesn’t that sound like the best opportunity to say “I will consider letting you treat me to dinner on our next date”? Sounds like it! Moreover, quite a majority of Thai girls may use this opportunity to decide whether you’re capable of taking care of her in the future or not. I’m not kidding.
This has always been quite a hot topic Thai guys often ask Thai girls if it makes sense that the guy would have to pay. What the girls’ reply was “The first date is pretty crucial to us. We don’t mind sharing at all, but to be impressed, it’s always nice to know that you’re willing to treat us, even just for the first time.”
You heard it, soldier.
What’s a ‘Gentleman’ to do?
Hold the door when I walk in, ask the waiters to arrange a table for two, let me be seated first, and help me decide on what to order. That’s only for starters. There are a hundred ways you could show a lady how much of a gentleman you are. From the very first moment you step out of the car, you could offer to help hold my coat or a handbag. Yes, it’s quite common in Thailand for a guy to help hold a lady’s handbag. Girls actually find it very charming as well.
Once our date has ended, it’s time to part ways. Be considerate and ask if you could drop me off. On the way to my place, you’ll get more chances to talk to me further and more personal as well. It’ll be just the two of us in a quiet ride. I’d call that a golden opportunity. Take it or leave it!
One final check
The curtain is finally closing. This is where you have to end the date with style. Give it about 15-30 minutes after you sent me off. Put out that phone in your pocket, and text me. Tell me how much you enjoyed the date and hope I feel the same. Let me know that you’re looking forward to the next one. Again; be respectful to whatever I decide. If I say yes to your second date, that’s brilliant. But if I decline, there’s nothing wrong with keeping in touch and stay friends. After all, who knows when will fate just change its game again?
Most of the stuff is basic. But when it comes to different culture, all you need to do is be more mindful. You’ll never know what or when you might offend us with. Take a bit of your time to learn more about Thai culture – not just in dating, but their general lifestyle as well. It’s never a bad idea to study what your future girlfriend might like.
For example, there are many night markets in Thailand. These night markets usually offer unique items at a cheaper price. The tricky part is each market is different. Their sale items are varied. Her favorite popular food stall might be in another market, not the one you’re looking into right now. Or what about typical dates Thais usually go for? Mostly, it’s either a movie or dinner. Walking together in the mall, window shopping while eating those famous snacks are quite norm.
What’s trending in Thailand now is living a healthy lifestyle. See if she’s interested, and you could ask her to go jogging together at a park of her choice. What’s important is to keep your first date all about getting to know each other better. Make yourself comfortable with her, and let her feel safe when she’s with you. A relationship is supposed to be filled with friendship and companionship. Behave like a lover, talk to her like a friend, and give her the place she can always come to like a family. I would say that kind of relationship is pretty ideal, isn’t it?
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