This is How Your Thai Date is Judging if You’re Boyfriend Material

Boyfriend Material

Hi everyone! This your lovable and attractive Thai girl-friend Muai, here to give you a glimpse of how we Thai girls think in Thai Girls Talk. Thai Girls Talk is the only place where you’ll find relevant, down-to-Earth advice on how Thai girls really act, and what they think about important issues! Before we start, let me put an emphasis on FRIEND in the term above ‘girl-friend!’ I’m everyone’s friend out there, and nobody’s one partner. Think of me, and this space, as a friendly general overview on Thai girls and women. A helpful guide provided by someone who definitely knows where they are coming from. I have to, simply because I am one of them!

Commitment, and the Challenges Ahead.

Speaking of a partner and a real girlfriend, that’s what we’re going to be talking about in today’s blog post! I’m writing on the assumption that you do have a Thai partner now, and you want to take the relationship to the next level. I’m writing this for all the guys who really want to make it serious and real with their Thai girlfriends. Maybe they have finally and truly fallen in love with the Thai girl of their dreams, and they want to cement the relationship to form a serious commitment. After all, what’s not to like about gorgeous Thai women? Modesty aside here, we’re one of the best women you could find anywhere on the planet! It’s true! I mean, we’re physically attractive, very kind and understanding, patient to a fault, and we’re even quite religious. I mean, how can you go wrong with the package here?

It turns out, you can go wrong, and in a lot of ways if you’re not careful. You see, no matter how kind and understanding any woman can be, there are bound to be misunderstandings and some tension in the serious relationship. And I’m not saying this to demean any guys out there, no way! I know Western guys are one of the sweetest, most confident, and attractive men on the planet too. It’s just that well, differences just happen. Life just happens to have a lot of tensions and trials along the way. The fact that we are even man and woman is already a cause for differences! I mean, men and women think differently. Whether you like it or not, this a real fact of life. A man and a woman will always approach any situation differently because they are different, and therefore, think differently.

Aside from the apparent physical and psychological differences we have, we also are also from two very different cultures. Western and Asian Thai cultures are very different, and can be radically so in many areas. How we think and behave is so greatly influenced by our family backgrounds and cultures, so you can see just how difficult this can be.

Just imagine now, that you’re about to get into a relationship with this different person, this totally different living being that you love so much. I understand that you have strong feelings for each other, but these feelings and the relationship can experience a lot of turbulence, friction, and tension because of these differences.

Empathy is the Key.

What can we do now? You both think differently, and are from very different backgrounds. There has to be a way to make things right, right? Of course! There’s always a way to make things right. There’s always hope, no matter how bleak things may seem. One key way to better deal with your innate differences is through empathy.

Empathy is described as truly trying to understand and relate to what another person is thinking or feeling. If you have empathy for someone, it can lead to a much greater understanding of the person, no matter how different you both are. That’s because people always appreciate someone who is considerate and tries to put himself in the other person’s shoes. It’s the same reason we all love good friends who are there to understand us when we’re blue, or why psychiatry has always been a very lucrative and profitable industry. We all need friends and a listening ear, someone who will not impose their beliefs on us, but someone who will understand them. Once we understand, it’s easier to live and function together in harmony. It’s really only natural, and it all begins with empathy. See? Empathy is the key!

Achieving Empathy.

So, now that we know empathy is the key, the next logical question is, how do we achieve empathy? How do we truly go about trying to understand someone who is fundamentally different from us? Well, that is a pretty profound question, something too big to cover in a single article! If anything, it takes a lifetime, and maybe more to truly understand something as wonderful and complex as another human being!

No, we cannot really achieve total empathy, but we can definitely strive for it, and go for it bit by bit every day. It’s like eating a giant cake or pizza. You don’t swallow the whole thing in one go. That would be gluttony and would also ruin the taste of any fine dish. No, you eat and savor the whole thing bit by bit. Eventually, as you take on bite-size pieces, you will see that the whole thing has slowly been eaten and you are full! Same with empathy. With genuine effort and day-to-day progress, it can be achieved! In fact, it is in slowly and gradually achieving it that the true fun lies. Here you will slowly but surely learn about who your partner is, and you will both be richer and fuller people for it. As the old saying goes, it’s not the destination, but the journey. Now, to make that journey even smoother, and more fun for you and your wonderful Thai girl, I have listed down some key things that she will be thinking about before she gets serious with you. These are the things that Thai girls will really consider before they take the next step in the relationship. This makes it a great idea to consider them too, and create empathy for what she is thinking and feeling! This way, you’ll know what to expect, and you and her can both have a better and more serious relationship! So, without further ado..

Before Getting Really Serious with Her…

Be extra-conscious of what she’s feeling.

Thai girls can be very introspective. We are very keen about what we really feel deep inside, but unfortunately, sometimes we may express what we feel in different ways. Often when a relationship starts to get serious, the Thai girl will really put a lot of serious thought about it. She will often think, is he really serious? Will he really look out for me? Do I like him, or have enough strong feelings to take this relationship to the next level? The Thai woman will think about these things, and really become pensive. If you pay close attention to her, you will immediately spot these little doubts and questions as they creep up on her mind and heart. Once they do, it’s up to you to allay her fears, and reassure her that you are there for her. This is really the time to be the strong man that she needs.

Is this serious, or just a game for you?

The Thai woman will want to get your reassurance that you are really taking this very seriously. She wants to be sure that this is not just a game for you, and rightfully so. After all, they are investing their emotions very heavily on you. Who would want to be taken for a ride, only to be let go in the end? No one, man or woman would want that, right? It’s human emotions on the line here, so it’s only natural that they want to be reassured that it’s no game for you.

What’s the entire picture?

Thai women will be thinking about what you really are as a whole person. They will try to see the big picture. Are you a man of means, middle-class, or short in cash? What are your hobbies? Who are the friends you hang out with? What are your beliefs and attitudes in life? A lot of these questions will seem rather uncomfortable, but such questions need to be asked to get a real answer and real direction as to how the relationship will go when it gets serious. She will want to see just how much of a mature person you really are. That will be critical as to how the relationship will fare when it gets serious.

Are you a leader or a follower?

This is a very serious and important question that she will ponder. It’s so serious, that it’s best that you ponder the question yourself. This question needs to be answered so that the general flow and direction of the relationship can be set. If you’re both leaders, egos could clash, and heads could butt resulting in confrontations and disagreements, with no direction. How do you solve problems? Are you open to inputs of your partner, or would you rather solve it yourself? Would you even be strong enough to solve the problems, or would you look to her for strength?

If you’re both followers, it could degenerate into the blind leading the blind. Will you take charge, when the time calls for it? It is so essential that these roles be established before you get serious. Now some Thai women like leaders, while others are not shy to lead and will want followers. There’s really no clear, or definitive answer here. It’s really a matter of preference between you, and your potentially serious partner.

What will her future be with you?

Although the future cannot really be predicted with certainty, Thai women will want some kind of idea as to what the future will hold for you and her. She will want to know what would life be like with you? What would she gain, or have to sacrifice if she went serious with her? Would her current work be affected? Would she be uprooted from family and friends if she went serious with you? These are some of the questions that will be swimming in her head, once she starts to ponder the future with you.

Although there really is nothing certain in the future, your Thai girl will want to know that she can count on you, whatever the future may bring. She will want to have someone she can count on, as this will be a serious relationship. Whatever your personality is, she doesn’t want someone bailing out on her, at the first sign of any difficulty. Who would want someone like that?

How will a serious relationship with you impact her relationship with her family?

This is really big. Thai girls will always consider this before they get serious with you. Family is such a big thing in Thailand, and in most Asian countries for that matter. Families here are normally, a lot closer than families in the West. It is one of the oldest values in Thailand that the family should always be close and stay together. If they cannot be together, it is definitely encouraged that they are close with each other personally. She will really ask herself if you and her family can get along in the long run. This will be an important question for her, as she would not want any friction between you and her relatives. Will you behave whenever her family is around, or will you all find yourselves bickering over the dinner table? Because Thai women traditionally have very close family ties, it is essential that you get along with them. You should be polite and respectful, and surely they will reciprocate in kind.

Depending on how close she is with her family, she will also consider if she can take any kind of prolonged separation with them. If she has a good-paying job, she will wonder how this will be affected if you both have a serious relationship. Will she still be able to help her family get by? She may also wonder how her income will be affected if she is not really earning a lot as well. These are tough questions that are related to her and her family. She will be asking these questions before she really decides to get serious with you.

The Social Impact of Being Serious.

This is another important thing that she will be considering. Thai girls do not want to bring shame to themselves or their families. She will be wondering if her friends will still look at her the same way after she starts dating you. What about her family? How will they react to her dating a foreigner? Even the people she just bumps into on the street, how will they react?

Fortunately, Thailand is a very tolerant and liberal place to be. Westerners are very welcome in Thailand, and there have definitely been many serious relationships like the one that you may be contemplating, that have definitely worked. They will not really be too concerned with you both coming from different countries. It’s really just a matter of showing them that you are well, serious and very sincere with her. The odds are definitely in your favor on this one.

Where you will both settle down?

This is another very serious concern that will come to her mind. Since both of you are from different countries of origin, you will both have to decide where you’ll stay. Will you live in Thailand, or will you live in his part of the world? Maybe you both might decide to live in another country altogether or live by just traveling in different places, with no real permanent address. This question will really depend on where you both prefer to live. Where is it best suited for both your jobs and tastes? Where would you both want to live, where both your standards of living and lifestyles are easily met? You will both have to reach an ideal compromise on this issue, since being a serious couple, you will be living together. Just remember to empathize and see where you’re both comfortable.

How you handle Money?

There is always a factor of money in any relationship. After all, money is the currency we need to get basic goods to survive in life. It is not good to worship money, or to make earning money the main goal in life. It is however, good to be aware of it, and what it can do for you in the relationship. Handling it wisely is essential for a good and serious relationship to blossom, and you can be sure that your Thai girl will be watching carefully how you handle money.

Thai girls are very practical and pragmatic. Usually, they’re not very keen on living luxuriously and can get by with minimal cash and resources. Thai culture is very keen on discipline, restraint, and contentment. This makes living within their means quite natural for Thai women. It would only be natural for them to pay attention to how you handle money.

Are you as disciplined with money and resources as they are, or do you like to live large and spend a lot? If you do like to spend a lot, can you be responsible enough to cover your expenses, or are you usually drowning in debt? Does money flow to you, or is it usually drained from you, like a leaky faucet? Do you have investments and long-term goals that will assure you and her of a more comfortable life with more financial freedom? Thai women will be keen to know how you really handle money. This is natural, as being in a serious relationship, they will feel the effects if you’re short on cash all the time. A serious relationship will entail being together during the good times, and the bad. This includes the times that money is always around, and when money is scarce. It’s only natural that she would want to live a fairly comfortable life. After all, I think most of us would rather have money in their pockets or be broke, right?

How will your family treat her?

She might try to hide this concern of hers from you. It might even appear that it’s of no concern to her, and she’s unaffected, but if you look closer, this could really be a serious thing on her mind. If you get serious with your Thai girl, she will definitely start to wonder how it will be like with her and your family. After all, you were born from two different countries, with very different cultures and how to do things. There is really a potential for misunderstanding and disagreement. She will want to be treated with respect, despite your differences.

How will they treat her? Will they treat her with the respect that she deserves, or will they look down at her with disdain? You must be able to reassure her that your family will accept her and treat her fairly. Thai women are not looking to be part of your family’s inner circle or to be another daughter of sorts. While that is very welcome to anyone, we Thai women are content to merely be treated with respect and fairness. That is really all that she would want. After all, she did select you to love, and you chose to be serious with her. Constant arguments, bickering, and drama bordering on a TV soap opera is a definite no-no.

And there you have it! These are the important things that a Thai girl will be considering before she gets really serious with you. It’s all been presented here, so be sure to consider them as well, and to have ready answers for these very serious concerns. Your serious relationship will depend on it! Till next time! Bye!

2 thoughts on “This is How Your Thai Date is Judging if You’re Boyfriend Material”

  1. I think you may have just nailed it. If you approach a Thai women outside of the bar scene, there is a good chance you’re going to be judged as a typical tourist who’s just looking for a quick one nighter. It take a quite a bit of effort to convince them you’re looking for more than just a “holiday girlfriend.” I don’t blame them though, a lot of tourist probably judge and stereotype all Thai women as well.
    And I would be lying if I said I was any different from the average first time tourists. Some of the blogs and internet forums had given me some pretty high expectations about the “adult disneyland” and I am guilty of having done plenty of the stuff you’d expect the average tourist to indulge in. This went on for about a couple of years untile I started having feelings for a work colleague.
    It came as a rather rude shock at being rejected as first. My ego for hurt. My adventures in the bar scene had’nt prepared me for this. This does not happen to “me.” But then I tried to put my shoes in her place and to think how my life would have been if I was born a Thai. Emotional intelligence is probably the one that’s more important here. And things started to make sense. Its easy to start judging others when you yourself are constantly being judged at.
    But like you say, empathy is the key.
    But of course, it only works if you really want to treasure her for the rest of your life. It can take a while to build this mutual respect for each other, but its worth it.
    Becoming one with your treasured someone is one of the keys to have a lasting relationship. We are in a relationship for 3 years now and we are planning to get married next year.
    She still says that my visible interest in knowing more about her during our several “dates” is what made her decide to have me as her boyfriend.

  2. It seems to me that Thai girls, when they date someone, they seem to think that it will eventually lead to marriage and settle down. If what I’m thinking is correct, they don’t want to have many different boyfriends, they like to stick to as few as possible and find the right one as early as possible. Can someone enlighten me about this?

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